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Internet Famous

by Insane Ian

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Featuring the 22 track album, plus two bonus discs full of additional content.
    Discs One and Two: Internet Famous
    Disc Three: Internet Famous: IanPlugged
    Disc Four: Internet Famous: Ianstrumentals

    The cover art is a parody of the iconic "Final Fantasy VII" video game cover, as will the accompanying layout. Artwork by renowned artist Thor Thorvaldson (Nintendo Force, RETRO Magazine, album covers for Random AKA MegaRan, Beefy, and more).

    Includes unlimited streaming of Internet Famous via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 43 Insane Ian releases available on Bandcamp and save 70%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Bioshock EP, Get A Clue, Smarm-Proof Lobster Cabinet, Mr. Yuletide (and other Holiday "Hits"), Rap Game Susan Lucci, Illinoise in Illinois (Live at FuMPFeST 2021), Illinoise, The Sex Training EP, and 35 more. , and , .

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Internet Famous by Insane Ian Featuring Chris Ballew of the Presidents of the United States of America This song is an interpolation, not a parody, of "Naked and Famous" by The Presidents of the United States of America. Music recreated and produced by Klopfenpop, a Resident of the United States of America. 1) I can't explain why I love the 'net so much For entertainment, it's got the Midas Touch Online shopping, games, cat videos, streaming shows, ladies with no clothes YouTube has replaced our MTV We now download our tunes for free Y'all love "Rap Battles of History" Frontalot and Watsky, SO WHY NOT ME? I had a few of my videos go viral But not enough to have my whole career spiral Out of control, or have my fame explode I still have to pay my own way to shows To stay so relevant takes so much work Gotta stay in the public view like some 30 Foot Smurfs My lust for fame is clearly quite evident That's why I went and borrowed this riff from the Presidents Chorus (Chris Ballew): Ev'rybody wants to be Internet Famous Ev'rybody wants to be just like me, I'm Famous! (X2) 2) Now I'm not trying to say that I'm not well known but no one knows my music in the town I call home Well, that's not exactly true, there was that one time "Aren't you that rapper from online?" asked in a drive-thru line Been at this a long time but it feels like no one knows me I've got a lot in common with the great Luke Ski We both like to Rock about Spock and BioShock So why are we not touring shows like Adam WarRock?! We'll do anything to get our fan's attention! Hell, we'll even put on our OWN convention! I top the charts hosted by DJ Particle But get a one-line mention in that Buzzfeed article I try to stay vocal on all social media But I would still kill for a page on Wikipedia I'm always retweetin' about the games I have beaten But tweet about a song and I get blocked by Wil Wheaton! Chorus 3) Don't get a nosebleed! Don't get upset! I can't be Internet Famous just yet There's a big gold dollar sign on my computer set I will send my ass to YouTube and go pay my debt If I want to go and rock more shows I'll make more music videos! I'll review games, I'll post 'em online I mean, I plan to, I just gotta make time... If fame's my aim, I'll keep to my schtick Eventually this trick will stick But if that won't work, one last escape Put out my own comedy sex tape! Chorus (X4) I love my fans.
[Intro - The Stacey] Friends are comin' over now Can't be scared when it goes down I'm addicted to this game Dice and pencils all around All show up except for one His campaign we were to run Only thing that's on my mind Is who's gonna run this game tonight... Is who's gonna run this game tonight... We gonna run this game [Verse 1 - Insane Ian] Ian's Gonna be the DM I'm the dungeon master Gonna play all weekend Gotta let the geeks in They snack everything Chex Mix, Cheese Nips All snacks, everything Gonna find the treasure chest Ridin' on an epic quest Got my lucky D6 If you ready, roll initiative Boosting my charisma I'll explain later But for now let me get back to this paper I got a couple stats down, now it's time that we attack I gave Doug the motion, get the potion from his pack I'm gonna roll me a sixteen Seventeen Hell yeah You know it's official When I cast magic missile Like a pistol [Chorus - The Stacey] Sometimes this game, it moves so slow I read the rules but I don't know So I keep doin' my own thing Walkin' 'round in this campaign Victory's within my grasp All these spells I have to cast Only thing that's on my mind Is who's gonna win this game tonight Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey (Is who's gonna win this game tonight) [Verse 2 - Insane Ian] We roll Yeah I said it We roll Gotta battle these trolls Down a dark deep hole Where ain't nobody goes Please pass the Doritos Mountainside prison My bros fightin' these foes We knows... (Cough! Cough!) We'll sneak past this jailer And I...think (Ah!) I need my inhaler On our feet we're screamin' at Gordon, read that engraving slow As he walked over a trap and now he needs a saving throw (No!) And he ain't earning XP He should throw his sheet away 'Cause he lost all his HP... (Damn!) Just to see what's down the hall So we all grab our books and check the Monster Manual (Yeah!) [Chorus - The Stacey] Love this game but don't know how We've played for nine hours now Rolling dice with these dorks Killing trolls and fighting orcs Just when the game's 'bout to end My older brother Tom walks in Only thing that's on my mind Is he's gonna wreck this game tonight Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey (And he's gonna wreck this game tonight) [Verse 3 - Devo Spice] It's crazy how you nerds keep playing this game That you can't even see how much it is lame Spending all day long on your campaign Photos posted up at the big geek hall of fame Dice rolling, Everybody LOL-ing You should try to play a sport, maybe bowling All you do is sit & talk about strolling 'least you're not LARPing, you silly frikkin' halfling But I know that if I just walked past And leave you geeks with the spells that you cast I'd never get to say how much you are out classed Can you see how you are to me by contrast? I'm clearly more mature than you, look at my ass And up top, unh...a thin moustache Whle you hack and slash, I'll take your lunch cash All your figurines look like junk trash Look at all the miniatures carrying nice flags I see what you're spending, I think I need an ice bag Thirty dollars on dice? You need to check the price tags You thought Crown Royal made dice bags! Is that a wizard, huh? Man, your cloak reeks He is a mage? What?! Look at these geeks There's a troll down this hole So much intrigue! Now s'cuse me while I check my Fantasy football league [Closing - The Stacey] Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey We gonna run this game tonight!
I hate my job, it's so completely lame I spend all day just listening to customers complain They bring their stupid broken phones to me They dropped it off the Chrysler Building with no warranty, well golly gee I hate my job, the customers are dumb They'll throw their broken phone away and expect another one We can't exchange something that isn't there But I explain it once again while ripping out my hair They just can't see What this job is doing to me! Chorus: I'm giving up retail My job is full of fail My soul is not for sale Not even for ten bucks That I'm paid by the hour While customers grow sour Feel dirty, need a shower Man, my job really sucks I hate my job, I'm knocking on your door I travel up and down the street just like some kind of whore But I'm not selling sex, just cable TV That you already got rid of, so you close your door on me So I knock and knock But I can't make sales if you don't open up! Chorus: So I never make a sale My job is full of fail Walk through the rain and hail Just for a couple bucks And I'll never reach my goal Unless I get on a roll or maybe sell my soul Man, my job really sucks My new job It's not great I collect money from folks down on their luck But at least I have a job in this economy, I guess my job doesn't suck
Metroid 03:09
Fighting with these pirates 'cause they want to clone these aliens I can't pass through some doors unless I use my missiles on them All day long I shoot at things and try to not get killed and die Think I'll lose my mind if I don't find some code for extra life Can you help me defeat Mother Brain? Oh yeah I need someone to show me the things in here that I can't find I can't see the pathways marked here on my map, I must be blind Tiny passage in a wall will make me turn into a ball I drop bombs, somehow I'm fine, tho I worry about my spine And so Samus wins the day, this bounty hunter fought bravely But if the girl is Samus, then who the heck's Justin Bailey?
I'm Sorry 03:21
Have you met my wife? Light of my whole life. But she seems to see all the faults in me. I can't make a move, arguments I lose. Every single day, this is what I say: I'm Sorry! - I left the toilet seat up I'm Sorry! - I didn't take out the trash I'm Sorry! - I left some milk in my cup I'm Sorry! - and didn't wash out the glass Dog ripped up the chair, I wasn't even there But it's just the same, I catch all the blame Says I am a jerk, made her late for work But how can that be? She let before me I'm Sorry! - I didn't clean off the grill I'm Sorry! - I didn't turn off the lights I'm Sorry! - that it raised our power bill I'm Sorry! - I can't do anything right I can't take no more, mess up every chore Why'd she even ask me to do this task Tore my brand new pants, I kill all her plants I'm destined to fail, because I'm a male I'm Sorry! - I got the carpets steam cleaned I'm Sorry! - Then the dog tracked in mud I'm Sorry! - I shrunk her brand new jeans I'm Sorry! - And the washer caused a flood I know my wife is so frustrated! Hey! Hey! But I'm feeling emasculated! Hey! Hey! I'm Sorry! - I left a stain on the couch I'm Sorry! - Our house looks like a wreck I'm Sorry! - that you never shut your mouth I'm Sorry! - you're such a pain in the neck I'm Sorry! - Oops, that just slipped out I'm Sorry! - I didn't mean to say that I'm Sorry! - Honey, please don't shout I'm Sorry! - Oh baby, please come back!
**My cat people throw your paws in the air, go meow meow, meow meow And wave 'em all around but do it like you care, go meow meow, meow meow** -Record scratch- [Chorus] I love dogs I love every kind of dog I just wanna love all them and I must Must Love every Dog Must Love every Dog [Repeat Chorus] Nooow all my friends think cats are great But for me my furry friend ain't up for debate I know it might be obvious, no need to pretend That's man's best friend is clearly my best friend I love 'em to the end of their waggily tails When I see a tiny puppy, man it never fails Even the big dogs get a little squee from me I love the entire canine family They like ham you see, or just any meat really Their noses are so cold, their smiles are so silly I love all breeds, feel me? They're endlessly loyal Some goofy and funny, some regal and royal When I see a dog out my brain is destroyed Because every single dog makes me feel overjoyed This one thing I consider, and I don't mean maybe But to me my puppy dog is just my furry baby [Chorus] "Who Let The Dogs Out", "Where My Dogs At?" If you can't find the dogs, I'm blaming the cat So whatcha think of that? I'm callin' them out I don't really see what all the fuss is about Dogs are just as cute, they do cutesy stuff They like chasing a ball, but they can play ruff A small dog acting tough is the cutest thing ever And, not too mention, they're endlessly clever You say things to dogs, and the dog learns words You say things to cats and the cat just purrs A dog can do tricks, a dog can help folks A cat simply views all the humans as jokes They're a great home protection kit, nothing's more affectionate They can even be service pets, to help the less fortunate I'm always looking at puppy pics online And I won't rest until every single puppy's mine! [Chorus] Now I'm not trying to say that dogs are perfect But their little cute faces make everything worth it Except when they drag their butts around like a slug or throw up on the rug after eating a bug Or when they take a pee on the cold kitchen tile Or even worse, take a dump, then just sit with a smile Dogs have lots of style so can't you think of something better Than to dress up your pooch in a stupid looking sweater? Dogs in clothes to me is dumb Cause dogs in clothes really aren't much fun They can't play and run for fear of getting dirty Some puppies aren't meant to to just sit and look purty But they like to get in trouble, like to chew on your shoes Like to knock over trash cans, some dogs are bad news But it's no great shock, no real big surprise That I'm just a sucker for those puppy dog eyes I mean just look at him...he's so cute! I kind of can't stand it. [Chorus]
Turn It Off 03:36
I stay up too late to avoid the shows I hate. cause TV is so lame, mmm-mmm The shows are all the same, mmm-mmm There's shows with Bobby Flay, (heh heh) Honey Booboo is a pain. and people losing weight, mmm-mmm it’s more than I can take, mmm-mmm It’s like a curse and I can’t stop, won’t stop surfing. It’s like I got Don Pardo in my mind saying, “we’re gonna be right back." Cause the Nielson's gonna rate, rate, rate, rate, rate. but the shows aren’t all that great, great, great, great, great. and I’m sure I’m tempting fate, fate, fate, fate, fate when I turn it off, turn it off. QVC is gonna pray, pray, pray, pray, prey That I'll buy another shake, shake, shake, shake weight. Think I need to take a break, break, break, break, break so I’ll turn it off, turn it off. I turn on my PC Or my Playstation 3 And the boredom follows me, mmm-mmm Can’t escape monotony, mmm-mmm I'm racing on my own (racing on my own) Or removing swords from stones (pulling swords from stones) I’m punching all these hoes, mmm-mmm In Grand Theft Auto, mmm-mmm On my computer I play first person shooters It's like I got this preset In my mind Saying, "buy Madden every year." 'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the gamers gonna game, game, game, game, game, game But every year it’s all the same, same, same, same, same So I turn it off, I turn it off ‘Cause the Shooters gonna shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot And the looters gonna loot, loot, loot, loot, loot Think it’s time that I reboot, boot, boot, boot, boot Gonna turn it off, turn it off Turn it off, I turn it off, I, I, I turn it off, I turn it off, I, I, I turn it off, I turn it off, I, I, I turn it off, I turn it off [Spoken]Hey, hey, hey Just think while you've been getting down and out about the malaize of the yearly game releases, sitcoms and reality TV shows, You could've been getting annoyed by pop mu-sic. This exec bought some sick music He's like "Oh, my god! You should hear this band!” And the pre-teen girl with the ice-cream swirl Begs her parents to buy it, tho it’s bland, bland, bland Yeah ohhh All the singers gonna sing, sing, sing, sing, sing ‘Cause they’re the hottest thing, thing, thing, thing, thing (they’re the hottest thing) And this earworm’s gonna sting, sting, sting, sting, sting So I turn it off, I turn it off Think it’s time that I flee, flee, flee, flee, flee (mmmm) Time to pack it up and leave, leave, leave, leave, leave (I'll leave, I'll leave, I'll leave) Maybe live among the trees, trees, trees, trees, trees, trees Time to turn it off, turn it off Turn it off, I turn it off, I, I, I turn it off, I turn it off, I, I, I turn it off, I turn it off I, I, I turn it off, I turn it off Turn it off, I turn it off, I, I, I turn it off, I turn it off (I've got to), I, I, I turn it off, I turn it off, I, I, I turn it off, I turn it off
Love Bites 03:51
Oh, my wife and I were happy and some might call it "sappy" when we bought our first house in New Orleans We had such friendly neighbors even though we were just strangers but everything was not so great, it seems. One night we met a tall and lanky man who was quite pale Descended from the vikings, he said with pride My wife took one small glance and without fail She suddenly invited him inside She hasn't been the same since that fateful night And upon her neck I see... Love Bites. Love Bites. Upon her neck I think I see Love Bites. Love Bites. Now she spends her nights in the park She wakes up when it's NEAR DARK She spends all evening out, FROM DUSK TIL DAWN She sleeps all day, makes no noise I fear she may be LOST, BOYS And on tv TRUE BLOOD is always on. It seems she's taken a job on the NIGHTWATCH On the graveyeard shift inside SALEM'S LOT She has THE THIRST for something a bit thicker than scotch and never lets a bleeding wound to clot ONCE BITTEN by that man she's out 'til the TWILIGHT and I fear she might leave me... Love Bites. Love Bites. I fear she might just leave me Love Bites. Love Bites. It seems like every night she's out there with him I don't know how much more I can take She says that on that night we LET THE RIGHT ONE IN but I fear that her heart may be at stake So, now my wife has left me And now I feel drained empty Although she always said I was her type But that last laugh will be mine because all during this time My new girlfriend name BUFFY's worth the hype I just can't forgive the way she left me and if I run into that man in the dark, I'll give him the silver necklace she gave back to me and at least that lanky bastard doesn't sparkle! So listen to my story and it's not out of spite Believe me when I say... Love Bites. Love Bites. Please believe me when I say Love Bites. Love Bites.
We stood in line, it was launch time for the Nintendo Gamecube Waited all night, so this ain't right The clerk gave me attitude I could not believe, we were forced to leave Bought the system and fled I wanted to shout when they said "sold out" of the game I wanted I wanted Super Monkey Ball I couldn't find it at the mall No, I just could not find it at all I just wants games with a mo-o-onkey Yeah a, a mo-o-onkey I searched, I seeked, then in 12 weeks I found Monkey Ball part two I'm such a mess, I'm so obsessed I even play n the bathroom It's Marble Madness, Collect Bananas Potassium Burglary It may be a game, but can help you train to perform surgery I just love Super Monkey Ball I'll play ev'ry single sequel But I so love the original Love mini-game with a mo-o-onkey I'm playing Super Monkey Ball Off the edges I will never fall Monkey Bowling or just Monkey Golf I just love games with a mo-o-onkey Yeah a, a mo-o-onkey I've beaten every single course There's no level I can not win And you will never beat my scores All you can do is just sit and spin I'll conquer every single floor Open a ball & just let me in Even then I could not let you win I play all the time, think Ive lost my mind This game takes lots of balls I'm playing Super Monkey Ball It's on my phone so do not call with AiAi, Baby, and GonGon I just love these little mo-o-onkeys I'm living Super Monkey Ball I don't see the real world at all Next to them my life just seems so small I just want to be a mo-o-onkey Yeah a, a mo-o-onkey Yeah a, a mo-o-onkey
[Pre-Chorus] I see what you're typing, think I know what you mean But it's hard to understand what I read on my screen [Chorus] Now you may think that it's funny, but I'm telling you class If you don't watch your language you will look like an ass The way you try to spell things sends me over the edge It's not too much to ask to watch your language [Verse 1] Lately I've been hating how I always seem to find Your abusive use of language drives me out of my mind It not so much the stuff you say or even how you talk But how you write your words inside the little Twitter box I understand you've only got a hundred forty characters It's not just your spelling, it's over half Americas Where do I start? Well, what can I say... It bothers me when you switch out "e" for "a" For example: "Affect" is a verb, meaning "influence" "Effect" shows the result, like of this next sentence. How does it "affect" me when you hear this song and scoff? I'll tell you what the "effect" is. It's pissing me off! "Allude" is what you do when your subject is vague "Elude" is what you do when you try to evade. And don't get me started on swapping "than" for "then" Rather eat nails "then" get jailed "than" have to tell you this again. [Chorus] [Verse 2] For my second lesson on spelling and how you abuse it, If you don't know how to spell a word, don't attempt to use it The first one is a French word, you spell it with a T O-U-C-H and an accent mark on E Don't spell it like it sounds, don't spell it "Too Shay" Or I will smack you verbally calling you "dou-che" Of course the word is "douche", that's what I'll mean to say It's pronounced differently but it's spelled the same way And I don't get this one, why spell O-U-R When you mean A-R-E. Are you dumb? Oh, you are? O-U-R is pronounced "our", like 60 minutes of time But the H is silent there, "Are" and "Our" don't rhyme My boss sent me an e-mail that I just could not believe It said 'these our are hours' and I had to frikkin' leave. If you can't seem fit all these words into your brain Go and read the lyric sheet while I sing you this refrain [Chorus] [Verse 3] This last thing on my list seems to get the most action It pains me to bring up the subject of contractions I do not mean "don't", or "won't", or "can't" I mean the separation of another word and "have" When "have" has been contracted it's apostrophe V-E which kind of sounds like "of", but it's "have", don't you see? And "kind of" really is "of" but "may of" just is not If I see it typed that way once more someone's getting shot The word is "should've" (short for "should have") The word is "could've" (short for "could have") The word is "would've" (short for "would have") How did your English teacher ever let you pass? It's not "should of" (it is "should have") It's not "could of" (it is "could have") It's not "would of" (it is "would have") Should've, could've, would've gotten held back in class! [Pre-Chorus] Now you understand why they call me insane I read these kind of things and it just melts my brain You might call me a jerk, or just a grammar Nazi But seeing these mistakes makes me go Kamakaze [Chorus]
[The Stacey] Right from the start You were a thief You stole my heart And I the willing viewer A friend had simply loaned to me Firefly on DVD And I wished I'd seen it sooner Now I've seen every single scene, oh, no You can't take the sky from me, oh, no Watch me soar just like a leaf On the wind, the wind Joss, give me a season 'Cause the movie's not enough Just a second season to tie loose ends And we can learn to love again Bring back the stars Browncoats cover up the scars on our hearts (and maybe resurrect Wash) Then we can learn to love again [Insane Ian] At first I didn't understand What Dollhouse was all about I thought that it was strange [The Stacey] (Oh, it was really weird) [Insane Ian] And by the time I'm figurin' Just what the heck was happenin' FOX cancelled your show again [The Stacey] (Yeah, it's just what I feared) [Insane Ian] Echo's personality, oh, no Is giving her such real bad dreams, oh, no [Both] No chance for a season three For this show, this show [Insane Ian] Oh, this [Both] show, moves slow [Both] Give me one more season This little bit's not enough Just another chance to watch Echo dance And we can learn to love again [Insane Ian] I never stopped 'Cause the Active's are all still pretty hot [Both] And we just both love the plot So let us learn to love again [The Stacey] This here is a toast [Insane Ian] 'Cause Penny's a ghost [The Stacey] Stop killing the folks That we love the most! [Insane Ian] Doc Horrible's blog [The Stacey] Has been put on hold [Insane Ian] So Joss can film Avengers sequels [The Stacey] And on TV [Both] Joss, give us a season Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. looks so good We're so happy that you brought Coulson back So we can learn to love again It's on TV And a good thing that it's on ABC So FOX can't cancel it then And we can learn to love again Joss, give me a season Heck, a couple seasons worth How about a run like Buffy's and then We might just learn to love again We love your shows You write women like nobody we know But please just stop killing men And we can learn to love again [The Stacey] Oh, we can learn to love again Oh, we can learn to love again Oh, oh, stop killing men And we can learn to love again
Suit Up! 02:56
Barney (various clips): Suit Up! Suit up! SUIT UP! Get suited up! Snow suit up! Flight suit up! Penguin suited up! SUIT UP! You suited up! I'm birthday suiting up. Slut up! Suit up! Suit up! Suited up! Suit up! Suit up! Space suit up! LAWSUIT UP! Well, Hey Beautiful, I'm glad that you're here Welcome to MacLaren's, grab a scotch or a beer Maybe have a cigar, take a seat at the bar I'll be over in that booth, that's where my friends are There's Lilly the teacher, and Marshall the lawyer Robin does the news just like Diane Sawyer And that guy on the end, I'm his very best friend So tell me...haaaaave ya met Ted? But wait, who am I? Just an average guy Settle down girl, don't give me crazy eyes Abandoned at birth, in the Swiss Alps I was born I was found and named Lorenzo Von Matterhorn I love ballooning and puppies, I'm kind of a genius Have my own company, and an unusually large penis Oh, you say that this story isn't very convincin'? It's one from my playbook, and my name is Barney Stinson Chorus So call all your bros, pour some scotch in your cup Grab your jacket and tie, it's time to suit up! If your suit is black you shoes shouldn't be brown Man, it's gonna be awesome, hi-fives all around! I'm your wingman, you're my newest recruit You're gonna get all the ladies when you're dressed in your suit I hope you're insured, 'cause it's gonna get hairy This'll be Legen...(wait for it)...dary! I have a confession, I'm sure that you'll find I'm always this awesome just all of the time Weather out on the town and looking to shag Or beating those teenagers at laser tag When it comes to life, I have only one rule Always strive for what's "possimpible" Never play the fool, or act like you're tragic And whenever possible, ladies love them some magic Whenever I'm out, I'm dressed to impress And I make sure my suits are always well pressed No wrinkles or creases, I always look fly I can even pull off a yellow duck-covered tie 83% of women think I played Boba Fett Oh yes, that stat's true, you wanna Slap Bet? When I see a hot girl, I know i"m gonna get her Then move onto the next 'cause (Barney:)"New Is Always Better" Chorus Now I know in the last verse I said I had a confession I said what it was, no need for Intervention Okay, I admit, my brother James, yeah he's gay and I'm the inventor of "Not a Father's Day" And despite all the kicks that Ralph Macchio did We know Johnny Lawrence was the REAL Karate Kid! Well, out of all women, one keeps my heart throbin' Okay, I admit it, I'm in love with Robin She's as awesome as I am, which makes us compatible On the Hot/Crazy scale, she's above the diagonal She knows the Bro Code, but is the best bro of all And yes, Robin Sparkles, even out of the mall So wedding suit up, hi-fives all around! Robin Sherbotzy got me to settle down I won't find a greater girl on this planet, yeah Man, she's so awesome...even thoughshe's from Canada Chorus
[II] Hey Steffo! [S] What's up Ian? [I] I'm gettin' a little hungry [S] oh my god yes [I] I think It's about time we get our grub on, whadda ya say? [S] Let's do this, what's your poison? [I] Well... [VERSE I IAN] We've gotta eat, but it's gotta be quick I'm thinking fast food will do the trick A burger that's thick, a large order of fries Two Happy Meals, check inside for the prize Open wide for the pies, try apple or cherry The filling is hot? Oh it's very very It's not just warm, it's filled with lava Gonna wash that down with some cola, not aqua I know it's a problem eating out every night But the food is so good and the price is just right It's not really healthy, but that doesn't matter Better slow with the chatter, soda filled up my bladder Now back to the counter, order up another meal! A double quarter pounder for a quarter, that's a steal! Say what was my prize in my box of child rations? The sword, Excaliburger! (mostly used for distractions) [CHORUS I] [I] When you gotta eat quick, don't care if you get sick [S] When the world's your playplace take your pick [I] When you think it might be meat, but you don't really mind It's Burgertime! [S] It's Burgertime? [S] When the back of your jacket and your buttons break loose [I] When a pickle's chasing you, and an egg is too! [S] Put the fries on the side this time. Why? It's Burgertime! [BOTH] It's Burgertime! [Steffo's verse spoken intro] [S] When I get a burger I get just meat and cheeze. Nothing else. Except more meat and cheese. [I] What about the bun? [S] And bun. Meat cheese and bun. [I] And the wrapper? [S] Got a rapper right here! [BOTH] HEYO!!! [Steffo's verse] My name's Steffo, hello Hungry Let's get drive-through, just take my money I swear to the fryguys I'll hamburgle the whole place If my car's not chock full of patties for the home base And seriously who gets a single burger anymore? And seriously who gets burgers from the store? And I don't mean a ground-up pound of chuck But those radioactive frozen cow pucks I can settle for a double, no WAIT I can settle for a triple, no WAIT I can settle for a secret menu 20 patty with a Waterfall of imitation cheddar (so happy) Yes I look pregnant, No I'm not pregnant I have a condition, I'm allergic to running The Lovechild of Wendy & Ron Swanson Prepare yourselves...Dinner is coming. [Chorus] [S] When you have an emergency whopper fund [I] When you think it might be fun to enjoy some toasty buns! [S] When the floor of your car looks like a Ronald shrine It's Burgertime [I] It's Burgertime! When you've haven't got a care, be a dollar menu-naire! [S] When you open up new line of burger-wear [I] When you hear how fat you are by the B words in every line It's *B*urgertime! [S] It' B-uh...urgertime [Third verse spoken intro] [I] Oh man...I think we may have overdone it [S] (no moreeeeeeeeeeee) [I] But we have one more verse to go [S] Just one more sip of this shake. Oh my god, it's so good... [Third verse] [I] After all of these burgers, I packed the pounds on like girders I'd walk the weight off but I can't walk any further I'm starting to feel a sharp pain in my chest I'll see a doc once this triple stack's finished [S] Maybe I should switch up my diet, I don't need this Something a little more healthy, like cheese stix AHHHHHHH I'm done running, you can meet me Sitting on the boombox playing eye of the tiger on repeat [GROW STRENGTH] [I] Feel like I'm moving half-speed, those kids are moving past me Think that I just ordered a McAngioplasty I think we should stop, please cut me some slack I might be having a Big Mac HEART Attack [GROW STRENGTH] [S] Crawling? It's a reliable form of transport I can use my inhaler like a jet pack There's a jack in the box locked in my GPS all this concern for heath? a minor set back [GROW STRENGTH INTO LAST CHORUS] [Chorus] [I] When you've got shortness of breath, but there's still some room left [S] Just yelling random numbers like a menu Roulette [I] My left arm kind of hurts, but otherwise I'm fine! It's Burgertime [S] It's Burgertime When your order sliders 'cause you consider them petite! [I] When your love of meat won't let you see your feet [S] If you need a reminder, HMM lemme see... It's Burgertime [I] It's Burgertime [Spoken outro as it fades out] [I] Actually, I think it's exercise time, don't you? [S] The gym has a good vending machine [I] Ooh, the gym! Yeah, that reminds me, I need to train up my pokemon [S] But not on an empty stomach! [I] Yeah! I think the McRib is back...mmm...Yoga Mat...
You know the Mushroom Kingdom Ain't the safest place But all the Toads feel better Since you came to this place You think they got the best of you I think you'll have the last laugh Bet you'll get the upper hand on the Koopa gang Bowser's gone and captured me He knows you'll come running back Baby don't you worry, go and do your thang [chorus] What doesn't kill you makes you smaller Mushrooms make you taller You know how to stomp the Goombas best This leaf and tail makes you a fly-er Flowers give you fire Come here and rescue your Princess [chorus 2] What doesn't kill you makes you smaller, smaller Just say "Hey, it's-a me!" What doesn't kill you makes you smaller Mushrooms make you taller That's what makes you super, Mario So now I'm thinking about training with you You told me it was about time I learned to Time to learn to grow up, Time to learn how to fly I'll throw fire just like you [chorus] A dozen Koopas make you smaller Mushrooms make you taller Green ones give you an extra life Blue flowers help you shoot ice Isn't that just so nice? I'll never be King Bowser's wife [repeat chorus 2] Thanks to you I’m no damsel in distress Thanks to you not just a floating princess Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me You know in the end one day I’ll finally give Bowser a beating In the end [chorus] What doesn't kill me makes me smaller Mushrooms make me taller Floating 'round the kingdom in my dress I'm throwing fruits and veggies Giving Goombas wedgie's Ain't no need to rescue this princess What doesn't kill me makes me smaller, smaller But fungus makes me grow What doesn't kill me makes me smaller Bowser's crown will falter I can be like Super Mario What doesn't kill you makes you smaller, smaller Just say "Hey, it's-a me!" What doesn't kill you makes you smaller Mushrooms make you taller That's what makes you super, Mario Mario...
Intro: Man, I hate this song Man, I hate this show Man, I hate this game Zero. Upvotes. Verse 1 - Ian: You'd think that today, nerds’d surely be glad There's more nerdy things now than I ever had From TV to movies, books, games, and comics There’s all kind of fandoms on all kinds of topics But when they convert a nerdy thing to new media The nerdy butt-hurt is almost immediate A movie comes out, and they all begin blogging They tear it to shreds, they give it a flogging It’s such a disgrace, as the rage fills their face Because someone changed a characters costume or race They weather the leather of the clever books, ‘cause they’re “better” They remember the splendor of every single last letter If they change it too much, then they all cry foul If they change it too little, then they throw in the towel But then you’ll feel their wrath, in a Facebook thread If you spoil Game of Thrones or The Walking Dead! Chorus 1: Angry Nerds! I understand your passion But do you think that this warrants that kind of reaction? Angry Nerds! They can be so rude Whether reddit, 4-chan, or comments on YouTube Angry Nerds! To them all things are sacred There isn’t a thing that is not Mass Debated All their talking sounds like squawking from some flightless birds, slingin’ rotten eggs, here come the Angry Nerds! Verse 2 - Luke Ski: Once upon a time, in ‘99, There was an 8-year-old, unaware of what’s online. Saw “The Phantom Menace”, thought it was amazin’! Identified with Ani and loved the podracin’. Bought all the toys, saw the prequel’s sequels, then went in search of some similar equals. Found the Enterprise, either Data’s or Spock’s, and a wacky madman in a bright blue box. - Found wizards,(pirates,) web-slingers, (nerdcore rappers,) and funny-song singers. Now the kid’s 20-something, loving fandom each day, All because no Angry Nerds crossed paths to say, “Phantom Menace sucks!, and Jar Jar is dumb!, and Jar Jar is dumb!, and did I mention Jar Jar is dumb?!, and you’re dumb if you like it. No excuse!” Way to kill the next generation, you douche! Chorus 2: Angry Nerds! Like a spoiled brat, they take your wide-eyed wonder, then they squash it flat. Angry Nerds! Throwing poop like Play-Doh, swirling all around, like a giant snark-nado! Angry Nerds! Think they’re Captain Kirk. Well, spoiler alert, you’re just being a jerk. Producing way more dookie than some Bantha herds, I’ve got a bad feeling ‘bout these Angry Nerds! Verse 3 - Ian and Luke: Someone should summon the male nerds of the world And stop them from questioning every single geek girl And trying to validate if they have enough cred And just simply treat them as equals instead! Five episodes into “Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.”, “I’m giving up on this show. Disappointing for real.” It wasn’t “The Avengers”?! That’s your reason?! How about giving it a chance for ONE SEASON?!?! Michael Bay’s getting hate for his toy adaptations Zach Snider’s derided for his hero machinations But if there’s one thing all nerds can agree on It’s that Uwe Boll is a gigantic peon So when you’re watching some thing, and your knee-jerk kicks that spawns your usual attacks… Just repeat to yourself, “It’s just a show, I should really just relax!” Or you’ll be one of the- Chorus 3: Angry Nerds! Their bile can’t be abated. Besides, you’re more hip if you say that you hate it. Angry Nerds! While you’re Minecraft mining, Why don’t you try looking for a silver lining? Angry Nerds! Some bad news for you, “The Big Bang Theory’s” funny ‘cuz it’s mostly true. I know that it’s ironic as I say these words, but this nerd is getting angry at these Angry Nerds! Outro Spoken Word Banter: (Spoken as Yoda) Fandom leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering Yeah, suffering through the constant complaining. Can’t these guys ever be satisfied? (Still Yoda) The Dark Side is Quicker. Easier. More seductive. Hey, you wanna knock off the Yoda impression? You’re making me… Angry? Oooh, I’ll bet I wouldn’t like you when you’re angry. That’s my secret, Luke. I’m always angry.
[Hook:] I'm gonna lose some cred I've never played Final Fantasy 7 I - I - I know, all the fanboys go "This game's freaking awesome!" [Verse 1:] Now, the guy on the box is like "What up? I got a big sword" It's what all my friends brought home from the game store This was the game of my college generation Nintendo fans were like, "Damn, only on PlayStation" Guy sittin' next to me, said he's played it for 8 weeks Hasn't even beat it yet, says he's fin'ly on disc three Looks like he hasn't slept, but he's hypin' the game to me But sounds like it's hella long, don't have the time for an RPG (Shhhhhhh) But heck, won't tell that to my friends! 'Bout to borrow it, play through it, but someone else already rented it The truth that I'm facin' is I don't have a PlayStation yet Problem solved that holiday, I got one for a Christmas gift But got no copy of the game, 'cause Santa didn't bring me it I'ma borrow from my friends, does someone have one they can lend? No for real - ask your cousin - cause I don't have the cash to spend (Thank you) Says he can loan me it, but he's missing disc two What the heck is up with that? Won't be able to play through I saw a used copy, I bought a used copy Returned it before I played, 'cause with money I was sloppy Had it, had it, in my hands I grabbed it I was gonna play that game, and that was how I planned it I was real excited to but then this guy ruined it He told me how Aeris dies "Aw, he spoiled the best bit" [Hook x2] [Verse 2:] What you knowin' about the movie Advent Children? What you knowin' about the shooter staring Vincent? I watched it, I played it, I'm not even kidding I did the tie-ins without originals for reference Thank the gamers for donating all their button -mashing 'Cause right now I still have never played it I'm at the Gamestop, I can't find it in the (used games) It's not, It's not here, I’m searchin' in that section (used games) On eBay, sold to-day, Amazon, Trade N Play Saw a de-listed greatest hits disc, second-hand, I rock that classic game The second-print with the green label on that classic game I check the price on the listing of that classic game They be like, "Oh, this RPG is hella tight." I'm like, "Yo - that's ninety dollars for a used game." Limited edition, let's do some simple addition Ninety dollars for a used game - that's just out of my price range I call that getting let down and sad (dang) I call that time to download or emulate This game's hella old And finding a rom of this is easier than finding one of DiG DuG PSN finally got the game on legit download Now after this gonna peep me some Earthbound I'll play Earthbound (Squaresoft... I'll play your games... eventually!) [Hook] [Bridge:] I've played these games before They look incredible The ones on Nintendo But not the ones on Playstation For Final Fantasy (damn right) I've played 1, 2, and 3 (or was that six?) Now I think that clearly (it's so clear) You must remake this in HD (let's go) [Hook] is that what all the hype is about?
Audio sample from Marscon 2011: TV's Kyle: I'm TV's Kyle...and so, the next song requires lyrics... Insane Ian: Technically all songs require lyrics TV's Kyle: SHUT UP, IAN! crowd laughs TV's Kyle: I mean...shut up, Ian. Some folks recognize I'm the clown of the class That I tend to be kind of a wise-ass I'm always quick to say something snappy Making you laugh is what makes me happy But there are times when I shouldn't speak I know it's wrong, but my will is weak And I think my friends would shove me in a creek To get this geek to shut his beak I tend to often run off at the mouth A verbal coffin, size of Brandon Routh That you're trapped inside and you can't get out And so my friends feel the need to shout Just like my pal TV's Kyle I said something to make him smile That's just my style, shout from the isle But you'd think I said something vile But what Kyle said to me upon that fateful night Is now repeated endlessly whenever I'm in sight! Shut Up, Ian! That's what he shouts! Why he does it, I can't figure it out! Shut Up, Ian! It's sad but true. But since he said it, EVERYONE ELSE DOES TOO! Shut Up, Ian! I don't mean to rant, but it seems to be the brand new chant! Shut Up, Ian! That's what they say! It's such a simple phrase, but it ruins my day! As you can see this bothers me a lot You might think I'm being sensitive...I'm not. But you can't imagine how annoying it is To hear that phrase when you're trying to whiz, At the grocery store, at the local mall, I hear it whenever my grandmother calls It's enough to drive a person crazy! (I hear it most often from my wife, The Stacey) When I'm on a podcast and talking aloud About my new song, of which I'm most proud, As I am speaking I imagine a crowd All ready to shout it, but that's not allowed! I know when I speak I am taking a gamble 'Cause I have a tendency to endlessly ramble This clearly leaves me emotionally scarred Some folks may not say it, BUT THEY THINK IT REALLY HARD! Every single day it happens, why do this to me? My name's Insane, but just the same, NOW I NEED THERAPY! Shut Up, Ian! That's what they say! It's such a simple phrase but it ruins my day! Shut Up, Ian! It's sad but true. Why do this to me? I wouldn't to you! Shut Up, Ian! You're making me sad. Why does everyone remind me of my dad? Shut Up, Ian! That's the name of this song. Here comes the bridge, now you'll all sing along! I reviewed a game! (Jared Ringold of Possible Oscar) Shut Up, Ian! This pasta is lame! (ShoEboX of Worm Quartet) Shut Up, Ian! I think that I fear ticks! (Austin Aeschliman of Smashy Claw) Shut Up, Ian! All songs have lyrics! (TV's Kyle) Shut Up, Ian! Was that TV's Kyle? (Devo Spice) Shut Up, Ian! Did someone say "tile"? (Chris Mezzolesta of Power Salad) Shut Up, Ian! Wil Wheaton had me blocked (Carrie Dalhby) Shut Up, Ian! Achievement Unlocked? (Luke Ski) Shut Up, Ian! This was starting to become an issue I should probably have bought stock in tissues But then something crazy occurred And changed the life of this small nerd Instead of letting this affect my health And tearing down my social wealth I put my pride upon a shelf And learned to just censor myself! Instead of rambling on and on I'll stop myself from saying something dumb I won't try to stop everyone From yelling at me...'cause they're having fun! It's all ok, It's only feelings I'm not deflecting, no, I'm dealing! This revelation has sent me reeling I'll take it back with THUNDER STEALING! Instead of taking history and trying to erase it I think it might be good of me if I were to embrace it! Shut Up, Ian! is what I say to me, foot so far in my mouth that I choke on my knee... Shut Up, Ian! That's what I say! It's just a simple phrase to help me through the day! Shut Up, Ian! I hear it a lot. You might think I'm crazy. Well, I'm not. Shut Up, Ian! That's the name of this song. I've stolen your thunder, no need to sing along!
[Male driver]: The air is cool in the morning light As I start another day I grab my keys, put on my tie And I start to drive away The birds are singin’, and my coffee’s warm As my engine comes alive Not knowing of the impending storm I merge on to 95 I pull into the middle lane and I can’t believe my eyes A sea of fools who desperately need to learn how to drive The grandma in the passing lane, tailgater behind a truck That guy is on his cell phone weaving through traffic like a schmuck And here I sit, just watching them on my way to work And I pray to God I don’t get hit by some dumb thoughtless jerk These are the Rules of the Road Not many follow, history has shown Follow the rules, follow the road Chances are good that your car won’t explode In a heaping, huddled, crumpled mass of severed limbs and chrome And you’re sure to safely find your way back home. I grip the wheel so cautiously And check every blind spot I look ahead and in front of me Break lights are burnin’ hot I strike my palm ‘gainst my forehead And wince from the sharp pain ‘Cause some SUV fills me with dread Turning right from the left lane! I watch with unbelieving eyes, my stomach feeling sick I hear horns blow as he tries to cross six lanes of traffic! [Instrumental break – filled with car horns, screeching wheels, screaming drivers] He didn't signal his lane change, just started drifting in As all the drivers flipped him off, he simply waved and grinned It's almost just as if he never looked back to see these cars ‘Cause objects in the rearview mirror appear clo-ser than they are These are the Rules of the Road So pay attention to how the traffic flows Follow the road. Follow the rules. Follow them both so your life you won’t lose And watch out for those hazard lights that signal… We gotta move all the way to the right There’s only one lane, it’s open on the right (x4) [Traffic reporter]: Good morning everybody, this is Detour Danny, your Traffic Nanny here in SkyChopper 106.3, and man, what a day it is today. If you're on 95 traffic has slowed to a crawl thanks to to a few motorists this morning who seem to have won their licenses from a box of cereal. Right now by the exit for Blanchfort Avenue, we have a Blue Nissan backing up, as it seems it just narrowly missed the off-ramp, so watch for on coming traffic if you're Northbound. Hang on, folks, I see something happening up ahead. Northbound on 95 by the 28 mile marker there appears to be a hatch back swerving in and out of the lanes. They're heading into the construction area ahead, where traffic is funneling into the only lane available. Folks, the driver doesn't see it up ahead. I think we're about to witness an accident... [Crash noise] [Female driver]: How could I miss that, I should have seen the signs Those bright flashing lights and double yellow lines The guy in the bright orange vest [Male driver]: I would have seen that [Female driver]; My dad will have a fit Haven't paid this car off yet [Male driver]: At least she hit that SUV [Female driver]: Running on fumes and the sun was in my eyes Dropped my cigarette right between my thighs [Voice]: Hey, what the hell happened? [Female driver]: Hang on, I'll have to call you back! Office I'm sorry this is a first Left my license in my other purse [Male and Female driver together]: How could this day get much worse? [Male driver]: I could've been there by now I should've been there by now (X4) [Female driver]: These are the Rules of the Road So pay attention to how the traffic flows I should have looked up, I should have slowed down Get me right out of this God forsaken town! [Male driver - simultaneous]: We gotta move all the way to the right There’s only one lane, it’s open on the right (x3) [Male and Female drivers together]: And watch out for those hazard lights and their reassuring glow [Male driver]: And you're sure to safely find your way back home


Internet Famous is Insane Ian's third full-length studio album, and it's almost too much album to handle! Featuring his exploration internet fame, internet misspellings, and internet nerd rage, as well as the usual songs about video games and TV shows. Tracks also include odes to canines, the decline of pop culture, vampires, apologies, and the 2013 Logan Award for Outstanding Original Song nominee, "Shut Up, Ian!" Featuring guest appearances by Paul & Storm ( paulandstorm.bandcamp.com ), Devo Spice ( devospice.bandcamp.com ), Schaffer the Darklord ( schafferthedarklord.bandcamp.com ), My Parents Favorite Music ( myparentsfavoritemusic.bandcamp.com ), the great Luke Ski ( lukeski.bandcamp.com ) and Chris Ballew of the Presidents of the United States of America ( www.presidentsrock.com )!


released November 11, 2014

Produced by Benjamin Stahl and Insane Ian, except track 1 produced by Klopfenpop, and track 16 produced by Steffeny Messinger. All music performed by Ben Stahl, except track 1 by Klopfenpop, track 6 by Austin Aeschliman, track 13 by DJ Wes K, and track 16 arranged by Steffeny Messinger. All tracks mixed and mastered by Ben Stahl, except track 13 mixed and mastered by Steve Goodie, track 16 mixed and mastered by Steffeny Messinger, and track 19 mixed and mastered by Luke Sienkowski.




Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

Insane (adj): shocking, outrageous

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God" - Dr Demento

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show.
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