REVIEWSICALS

by Insane Ian

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    The collection of II's video game review songs, otherwise known as "Reviewsicals". Originally Kickstarted back in 2014, II finished this failed experiment and finally released it in 2020.
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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Illinoise, Illinoise in Illinois (Live at FuMPFeST 2021), Vaccine Day (Go Get Vaccinated), The Sex Training EP, REVIEWSICALS, D.A.M.N., Just a Pasty White Dude in Shorts (Live from FuMPFeST 2019), Live from FuMPFeST 2017 (feat. TV's Kyle), and 31 more. , and , .

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1.
Skyrim 01:11
(Yeah, Eh-eh-eh-eh-Elder Scrolls) Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah-ah-ah Yeah-ah-ah Yeah-ah-ah Yeah-ah-ah Yeah, yeah, yeah Three a.m. and I'm still playin' Gotta go to bed so I can go to work Gonna call out, I don't wanna go Keep the game on, I just wanna keep Playin' on and on, gotta keep playin' Gotta get over to the next town Finally get in the town and then a guard says (guard says) Adventure was the life for me but took an arrow to the knee I haven't been playing long I'm 400 hours in... It's Skyrim, Skyrim I'm still playin' Skyrim Everybody's lookin' for the Words of Power Skyrim, Skyrim Gotta be playin' Everybody's happy with their cheese wheels, cheese wheels Fus Ro Dah, Fus Ro Dah (Yeah) Dovakiin, Dovakiin (Yeah) Dra-Gon-Born-SHOUT Lookin' forward to the DLC
2.
As the Boss of the Saints, you are now the President Aliens show no restraint as they attack the whole planet You've got no time for politics, 'cause now you're stuck in the Matrix This is Saints Row! (PART FOUR!) This is Saints Row Time to save the human race Hey, Don't mess around, this is Saints Row Huh! Goin' cruisin' in a spaceship, runnin' at the speed of sound Causin' mayhem in the program, look at all the tricks you found We're gonna borrow some gameplay From Prototype and GTA Saints Row! (PART FOUR!) This is Saints Row Collect orbs like Crackdown Say what? Don't mess around, This is Saints Row Part Four! You're Gonna save the galaxy While having sex with NPCs HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh Saints Row Part four! This is Saints Row Punch an alien's face Do-do-do-do don't mess around, this is Saints Row Part four You've got a dubstep gun Drop the bass on everyone 'Cause this is Saints Row Part four Your VP is Keith David And this is kind of like "They Live" But it's Saints Row Part four This is Saints Row Part four This is Saints Row My gun shoots black holes Don't mess around, this is Saints Row Don't expect reality Just look out for DLC For more Saints Row This is Saints Row (It's better than) The Third! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
3.
I'm the bat, I am back, in the city of Gotham There's a ton of crimes tonite, and you need me solve 'em There's a guy, Black Mask, and somebody tried to off him Gotta use my skills to see who wants him in a coffin It's late at night and it's Christmas eve Does that mean everybody in the city had to leave? There is no one around, just these thugs and cops I guess not even crime takes the holiday off There's this new guy, the Joker, and he's hired assassins To try to take me out, but I'm not exactly passive I'll punch and I'll punch and I'll punch them some more these thugs then will dump their whole lunch on the floor They've started a war, it's thugs against thugs Least I think that it is, can't tell through the bugs I know this game came out before the month of November Well here's your damn review, better late than never Chorus (X2): Oh, hey, look, prequel time again It's not exactly "Batman Begins" Joker, Black Mask, and the Penguin "Batman: Arkham Origins" If you've played "Arkham City", well this game looks the same They used the same assets, so that's kind of lame But the story may leave some fans feeling bored And they say multiplayer is better ignored But they added fast travel, so that's kind of pretty So you watch the Batwing as the game loads the city It's a pity this wasn't download content 'Cause I could've used the money to pay for my rent There's upcoming DLC that will feature Mr. Freeze But I'm still trying to get all the Riddler trophies And speaking of freezing, that happens all the time You'd think they'd have fixed it with a patch online But the gamers still buy it, won't put up a fight Sold us this game three times, man that doesn't seem right This won't happen again, swear that I've seen the light Now excuse me while I pre-order "Batman: Arkham Knight" Chorus X4
4.
Borderlands 03:58
Something in this game just makes me play it constantly I already beat both games on Playstation and 360 But now it's on Vita So I'll complete-a Mission while I'm on the can But the clipping doesn't stop No 4 player co-op Just 2, and don't forget the lag Just grab all of the loot (all the loot), I've shot all I can shoot, 'Cause I've got the best weapons [Chorus:] Borderlands. Got the sequel in the palm of my hands And I just can't stop playing the sequel to Borderlands Borderlands. Handsome Jack will now make his stand Hope my Vita battery doesn't die while I'm playing Borderlands (Borderlands!) Something in this game is makin' such a fool of me When I hold it in my hands and play through all the DLC But then the framerate drops, music starts to chop, feel like this might be a flop Stop driving me away, I just wanna play, At least this game allows cross-save Just see my point of view (point of view), I love this game, I do, It's still one of the best ports [Chorus:] Borderlands 2 on the Vita in my hand I just can not stop playing the sequel to Borderlands Borderlands. Vault hunting is high in demand I'm so amazed they were able to port over Borderlands Keep porting these, keep porting these, keep porting these games! (Keep on porting games to my PlayStation Vita!) Come on, Sony. Come one 2K'. Yeah!
5.
Spider-Man (Two!) Spider-Man (Two!) It's The Amazing Spider-Man (Two!) It's the game of the movie Swing on webs 'round the city Look out, for 'Mazing Spider-man (Two) Is it good? Well, let's see It's better than Spider-man 3 Fight Electro? Yeah you bet. Plus some guys not introduced yet Here there, Amazing Spider-man (Two!) As you swing thru the the streets, you build rep fighting crime But these blasted daring feats seem to take up all your time! Spider-Man Spider-Man Fighting crime as Spider-Man Car chases, fire's hot Just let me advance the plot C'mon, Amazing Spider-Man (TWO!) Spoken: There's so much petty crime on the streets, it's hard to get to the story missions. If you miss one, your rep goes down. It drops too far and they send a task force after you. So you HAVE to build it up before advancing the story. If the movie did this, we'd wouldn't have seen Green Goblin until Amazing Spider-Man 3. However, the web-swinging is the best. Amazing Spider-Man 2's web-swinging makes Spider-Man 2 look like Amazing Spider-Man 2 Wait, what does that mean? Uh...the new game, makes the best Spider-man game, look like the old Gameboy game. Ah. But Spider-man 2 is still the best overall Spidey game ever Well, obviously Sung: The missions are complex, like using your camera to zoom There's Spider-Sense effects, and trying on costumes in your room Spider-Man (Two!) Spider-Man (Two!) The game of Amazing Spider-Man (Two!) Swing 'round virtual New York As a badly animated dork If you want to rescue the city From villains that's a pity You're more like Spider-Cop
6.
New controller has six buttons now Hit the chords just right, impress the crowd If you play terrible, they will all frown Use that hero power, raise it up proud! This Guitar Hero Guitar Hero Live This Guitar Hero It's kinda tricky While the "Live" portion is over fast The rock festivals don't seem to last Take the game online, it is a blast To play videos from now and the past This Guitar Hero Playing videos This Guitar Hero I'm barring chords, now! Kudos, My hero You changed it up again! My Guitar Hero The one that's on This Guitar Hero Has tons of videos This Guitar Hero Ain't like the others This Guitar Hero Expert is no joke This Guitar Hero You know I love it!
7.
I shot some guy, what a dope, As I repelled from a rope, I looked through my sniper scope, And now you're in my sights Threw a grenade over head, And then I hid in the shed Airstrike made most of them dead, But now you're in my sights Your stare was holdin', One clip, no reloadin' 'Nade toss, you're explodin' Where do you think you're spawning, buddy? Hey, I just shot you, And this is crazy, But this does feel like, A Call of Duty! It's hard to aim right At you, truly but I've got jet packs, In Call of Duty! Hey, I just shot you, Right in the booty, Your number's up now, In Call of Duty! And all the other noobs, Play co-op Zombies, But I'll just kill you, In Call of Duty! Some other shooters are slow, This ain't like others you know Unless you have played Halo, Then you've played Black Ops 3 They added cool guns and tech Check out all of my specs But now I feel like a mech, Guess this is Black Ops 3 I run on walls now, Call swarms of nano bots now Hack machines with my mind now, Where'd this series go wrong, baby? Hey, I just shot you, And this is crazy, Your number's up now, In Call of Duty! It's hard to pick which powers suit me, I'll immolate you, In Call of Duty! Hey, I just met you, Chris Meloni, But your a step down, From Kevin Spacey! And with the other games, This story's stupid, But look, there's Starbuck, In Call of Duty! Before you came into my life I shot up bad guys I shot up bad guys I shot up bad bad guys Before you came into my life I shot up nazis And you should know that But now you're so, so bad (bad, bad) It's hard to look right At you baby, Your story sucks now, In Call of Duty! Hey, I just played you, And this is crazy, But online kicks ass, In Call of Duty! And all the other games, Try to please me, But here's a thought now, For Call of Duty! Before you come out again No need for future stuff I think we've had enough This game was kinda rough Before you came into my life I liked the sci-fi And you should know that But not Call of Duty's!
8.
Fallout 4 03:40
You know that war never You know that, you know that Yeah You know that war never changes From DC to the Sunset Strip War never changes The bombs fell on the Commonwealth And when I play that Fallout 4 I don't see my friends no more And when I play that Fallout 4 I don't go to bed no more Ever since I left the Vault, you Got a reputation for yourself now Everybody knows you, I feel left out Son, you got me searchin', got me stressed out 'Cause ever since I left the Vault, I Started building settlements and armor Sending my pooch Dogmeat to retrieve more Blueprints of weapons never seen before I use the Pip-Boy on my cell phone Late night just to build my perks Pip-boy on my cell phone When I'm not home but I'm at work And when I play that Fallout 4 I develop painful sores 'cause when I play that Fallout 4 I don't leave the couch no more Ever since I left the Vault, you, you, you Got me fighting Deathclaws who're on steroids Beating super mutants like a freakazoid Running from some ghouls that look like hemorrhoids Ever since I left the Vault, I Never seem to follow story missions Even tho the sidequest repetitions Have me doing everything but fishing I use the Pip-boy on my cell phone So I can equip on the fly Pip-boy on my cell phone But can't connect without wifi And when I play that Fallout 4 Other games are just a chore 'Cause when I play that Fallout 4 I use perks to add more gore These days, all I do is Wander through the Massachusetts backwoods for something else Wander through the Commonwealth of Boston for something else Gathering bits and pieces, gettin' parts for something else I don't need nothing else But I keep adding to my house, so Why aren't I looking for Shaun? Why am I always on the road? Codsworth says to stay at home, take care of the dog Stay outta that zone, yeah Put that gun up on the shelf But these guys won't kill themselves You used to call me on my cell phone Late night when you need my love But don't call me on my cell phone 'Cause I'm too busy with this game 'Cause when I play that Fallout 4 You can't talk to me no more 'Cause when I play that Fallout 4 You wanna return it to the store Ever since I left the Vault
9.
Dishonored 03:02
Yeah. (I’m) Corvo, the Queen’s bodyguard I'm supposed to protect her But I’m bad at my job Queen is killed, that’s awkward Dishonored. See these plague rats runnin' in this room They will devour Everybody soon I’m teleporting, with a crossbow I could kill you, right from the shadows (But) Raise more chaos, game gets harder Dishonored Dishonored. Ready? In the sequel, play as your daughter Dishonored Dishonored. (Bone charms, bone charms) All these charms They’re my protection They give me powers Like Blink or Possession. Good and evil, either fight or stalk Like a Whalepunk version of Bioshock Use stealth & magic, (x10)? The second sequel kills the Outsider. Dishonored (x4). Hey! Dishonored (x2). Alright!
10.
No Man's Sky 03:44
Picture yourself in a ship on a planet With alien trees and turquoise-ish skies Somebody claims you can see other players But they are just telling you lies They promised a game with exciting features A virtual feast for the eyes The game released, those features weren’t featured It sucked Playing No Man’s Sky was boring Playing No Man’s Sky was boring Playing No Man’s Sky was boring Aaaaahhhhh... Follow it up, check the game a year later Where studio heads have heard the fan’s cries Everyone smiles as they added some patches That help you best use your supplies Exciting dogfights in cooler spaceships Waiting to take you away Updated textures, improved the gameplay Now it’s fun Playing No Man’s Sky with patches Playing No Man’s Sky with patches Playing No Man’s Sky with patches Aaaaahhhhh... Picture yourself in a ship on a planet With obelisk portals that reach to the skies Suddenly someone is exploring with you Next time release finished, you guys Loving No Man’s Sky with patches Loving No Man’s Sky with patches Loving No Man’s Sky with patches Aaaaahhhhh... Seriously No Man’s Sky is good now Go play No Man’s Sky, it’s fun now Hey there, No Man’s Sky is patched now [fade out]
11.
Mafia III 04:31
12.
If you're Empire, don’t stop Lode Runner’s goal. Just step aside or you might end up in a hole. Lode Runner, Lode Runner picks up the gold all day. Evil Empire can't make him change his ways. Lode Runner, Evil Empire's after you. Lode Runner, if they tackle you you're through. Lode Runner, get the gold before they do. Lode Runner, if they tackle you you're through. Those bad guys will really put up a fight, But Lode Runner digs a hole to the left and the right. Poor little Lode Runner never bothers anyone, Just fallin' down a hole's his idea of having fun! (instrumental break) Each new stage is such a puzzling quest. Will the Empire learn that they never can beat the best? Poor little Lode Runner never ever gonna stop, Just keeps making holes in solo or co-op! Lode Runner, the Empire’s after you. Lode Runner, get some help from Player 2. Lode Runner, design your outfit too. Lode Runner, if they tackle you you're through. Lode Runner, the Empire’s after you. Lode Runner, if they tackle you you're through. Lode Runner, get the gold before they do. Lode Runner, if they ta-ckle-you-you're-through!
13.
Fortnite 02:01
Okay, this is the most popular game in the world right now. I’m decent at shooters, let’s see what the hype is all about... Fortnite! Ready up the spotlight Locked tight! Into every streamer’s gun sites I might Give in a little to the hype But I’ll try to not be shy and Give up after one fight I’ll bite! Gettin’ ready for the royal battle That’s right! You know I’m gonna test your mettle Foresight Waiting for the green light Let’s be clear you won’t get near me As we hit the drop site! Oh...I’m dead already. That was fast, I just landed! Geez, let me try again… Fortnite! Let me get my skills right I’ll fight Aiming down the gun sight Sit tight I’ll be with you forthright But to be fair landing there May not be smart in hindsight Dammit. Dead again. I’m clearly landing in the wrong spot. I need to change my strategy. That’s tight I’ll be flossing on your grave tonite No spite These dances bring me much delight SERIOUSLY? I don’t even think I landed before I was shot. Just hit the ground dead. No. You know what? One more chance, that’s all I’m gonna give this. One more try… This bites I’m not cut out for Fortnite… And I’m dead. Nope! Screw this. Done. I’m moving over to Apex Legends instead. Time to call your editor I’m the Apex Predator Give me all your upvotes Like your favorite Redditor… GAH! Dead here too! I’ve had it with these Battle Royale games! I’m sticking to Tetris 99 instead! SERIOUSLY!! 98th PLACE? Screw you, GrannyFlips86! SON OF A...
14.
[Opening skit] [audio fx: phone ringing] Brentalfloss: (answering) Hello? Insane Ian: Hi Brent! It’s Insane Ian. Brentalfloss: Hey, Ian! Um. How...did you get this number? II: (ignoring him) Ha, ha, ha! You’re so funny, man! Hey, I wanted to ask you something. It’s been three whole years since your game came out. Why haven’t you done “Use Your Words With Lyrics”? B: Well, it’s my *own* game. I mean, I made it (with a bunch of really talented people)...so that would be a little awkward to do a song about it myself. II: Well...do you mind if I do it, then? B: Well, actually, I’d rather you di-- II: (interrupting) GREAT! Check this out! B: Wait, what? [Music begins] Oh no. [Chorus] II: (singing) It’s time to Use Your Words The game for comedy nerds And their unfunny friends The party never ends [1] Got some friends? All in your home? Well here’s an excuse To look at your phones You type some words And fill in blanks Looks like they owe Jackbox some thanks! (B: HEY!) [2] Translate some films Caption some pics Just don’t fall for The house answer tricks They’ll trick your brain It’s just absurd How they fool you By misspelling words! [Bridge] But don’t get distracted Your game won’t be impacted By the skulls hid in the background [3] Use Family Mode If you can not Have some content Offending your grandma ‘Cause brentalfloss He is no saint (But) somehow his game Doesn’t have the word “taint”! [Breakdown] [spoken] B: What? Dude, it’s in there. Just keep looking. II: Of course it is. That’s like your catchphrase! B: Taint is NOT my catchphrase. II: Oh yeah? What is, then? B: [beat] I’ll get back to you. II: So much for using your words… [4] II: (singing) The announcer’s great He really fits the mood Then the whole game ends With a survey like “the Fued” It’s great for “Let’s Play”-ers And streaming on Twitch If you don’t mind randos Answering everything with “bitch” [pre-chorus] It’s a fun party game! For 3 to 6 friends! It’s only 15 minutes! So let’s play it again! [Final Chorus] It’s time to Use Your Words Quiplash is for the birds! So come and join the fun! Then they’ll make another one! [Spoken] II: So? What d’you think? B: Honestly? It’s like when *you* play the game. You think you’re being funny, but you end up losing. II: Wait...how do you know that’s what happens when I play? B: I made the game. I SEE ALL! II: GAH! (throws phone) [END]

about

The collection of II's video game review songs, otherwise known as "Reviewsicals". Originally Kickstarted back in 2014, II finished this failed experiment and finally released it in 2020.

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released July 17, 2020

Contains parodies of songs by Rebecca Black, The Spinners, Madonna, The Spider-Man Theme (as performed by The Ramones), Foo Fighters, Carly Rae Jepsen, Drake, U2, The Beatles, Eric Burdon & The Animals,The Road Runner Theme (as performed by the Presidents of the United States of America), and the Use Your Words Theme (aka "Say Cheese"). These parodies are done for the purpose of satire and are not intended to infringe upon the copyrights of the original artists or subject matter.

New Lyrics and vocals by Insane Ian
Music by Ben Stahl (tracks 1-3, 5-11), Bonecage (tracks 4 and 12), Insane Ian (track 13), and Soundroll (track 14, licensed from Audio Jungle)
Mixing and mastering by Ben Stahl (tracks 1-3, 6-11), Bonecage (track 4), Tom Rockwell (track 5), Insane Ian (track 12), and TV's Kyle (track 14).
Executive Producers (Kickstarter backers): Janice Campbell, Robert Gilgan, Cynthia Woods, Rev. Becky Elfprincess, Scott Rennison, Renfield, Jeff Reuben, Mike Beucler, Wynona Stacy Lockwood, Mark Burger, and Scott Johnson.

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Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

Insane (adj): shocking, outrageous

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God" - Dr Demento

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show.
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