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Love Bites

from Internet Famous by Insane Ian

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    Featuring the 22 track album, plus two bonus discs full of additional content.
    Discs One and Two: Internet Famous
    Disc Three: Internet Famous: IanPlugged
    Disc Four: Internet Famous: Ianstrumentals

    The cover art is a parody of the iconic "Final Fantasy VII" video game cover, as will the accompanying layout. Artwork by renowned artist Thor Thorvaldson (Nintendo Force, RETRO Magazine, album covers for Random AKA MegaRan, Beefy, and more).

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There's a long-standing tradition of country songs about wives leaving their man, but I'm fairly certain there isn't one quite like this.

The fact that this song came out the same day as the final Twilight movie is mere coincidence...or is it?


Oh, my wife and I were happy
and some might call it "sappy"
when we bought our first house in New Orleans

We had such friendly neighbors
even though we were just strangers
but everything was not so great, it seems.

One night we met a tall and lanky man who was quite pale
Descended from the vikings, he said with pride
My wife took one small glance and without fail
She suddenly invited him inside

She hasn't been the same
since that fateful night
And upon her neck I see...
Love Bites. Love Bites.
Upon her neck I think I see
Love Bites. Love Bites.

Now she spends her nights in the park
She wakes up when it's NEAR DARK
She spends all evening out, FROM DUSK TIL DAWN

She sleeps all day, makes no noise
I fear she may be LOST, BOYS
And on tv TRUE BLOOD is always on.

It seems she's taken a job on the NIGHTWATCH
On the graveyeard shift inside SALEM'S LOT
She has THE THIRST for something a bit thicker than scotch
and never lets a bleeding wound to clot

ONCE BITTEN by that man
she's out 'til the TWILIGHT
and I fear she might leave me...
Love Bites. Love Bites.
I fear she might just leave me
Love Bites. Love Bites.

It seems like every night she's out there with him
I don't know how much more I can take
She says that on that night we LET THE RIGHT ONE IN
but I fear that her heart may be at stake

So, now my wife has left me
And now I feel drained empty
Although she always said I was her type

But that last laugh will be mine
because all during this time
My new girlfriend name BUFFY's worth the hype

I just can't forgive the way she left me
and if I run into that man in the dark, I'll
give him the silver necklace she gave back to me
and at least that lanky bastard doesn't sparkle!

So listen to my story
and it's not out of spite
Believe me when I say...
Love Bites. Love Bites.
Please believe me when I say
Love Bites. Love Bites.


from Internet Famous, track released November 16, 2012
"Love Bites"
Lyrics by Ian Bonds
Music by Ian Bonds & Ben Stahl




Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

Insane (adj): shocking, outrageous

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God" - Dr Demento

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show.
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