weezard

by Insane Ian

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roboknight Its hard to pick a favorite on this one. There are two that stand out for me, but this one wins by a nose. Love Insane Ian's stuff. Favorite track: Hey There, Hermione (2011 Version).
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about

In celebration of the final Harry Potter movie hitting DVD & Blu-Ray, and the fact that Rivers Cuomo of Weezer looks like a grown-up HP, I figured making an EP that featured parodies of Weezer songs about Wizards was a great idea! All it took was a simple math equation:

Wizard Rock + Weezer = WEEZARD!

credits

released November 11, 2011

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Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God..." - Dr Demento (The Dr Demento Show)

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show.
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Track Name: Unbound - The Horcrux Song
"Unbound - The Horcrux Song"
parody of "Undone - The Sweater Song" by Weezer
New lyrics by Ian Bonds

[Ron:] Hey Harry, how was summer?
[Harry:] All right.
[Ron:] I'm so glad to be back at Hogwarts!
My sister is here this year too!
[Harry:] Yeah?
[Ron:] Yeah, she won't stop talking about you!
[Harry:] That's nice.
[Ron:] Aw man, this is the best. I really hope no big, scary thing happens this year!
I'm so tired of that.
[Harry:] Yeah.
[Ron:] Hey, wait, where'd my sister go?
[Harry:] I dunno.
[Ron:] Aw man, and there's spiders and a big snake! I'll be running away now!

Help Me
Harry
Ginny's
Missing
Dark Lord
Was bored
Big snake
Looks fake

If you want to destroy the journal
Use the fang of the basilisk

[Hermione:] Harry, the sword!
[Harry:] What about it?
[Hermione:] The sword is goblin made!
[Harry:] Huh?
[Hermione:] It takes only what makes it stronger. Like basilisk venom. Or steroids.
Soul split
locket
It's tough
As hell (hell)
No spell
Will break
Ice lake
In I fell!

If you want to destroy a horcrux
You'll need something that is powerful (something goblin-made!)
Dumbeldore left us a single weapon
Use the sword (of Gryffindor)
To break the spell

[Harry:] Well, we've discovered that the sword will destroy the Horcruxes! That's great! Now all we need to do is find the rest of them! Here Ron, hold this locket.
[Ron:] My Precious!
[Harry:] Maybe I should hold that. Now, all we need to do is find the others. Did anyone read the books?

If you want to destroy a horcux
First you have to search around (like you lost your keys)
You'd think the Dark Lord would've hid them better
You Know Who (Should've given them to)
Jimmy Hoffa!

I don't want to be the last horcrux
Voldemort did that by accident
There's cups and rings and stuff like an old dirty tiara
I'll break them all (to free your soul)
The spell's unbound!
Track Name: Say Accio
Oh, yeah
Alright

Some say Hermione is castin' a charm spell
Some say her knowledge is beyond compare
Guess she's the one to ask
Oh yeah, all right, which spell, is right

Flick of the wand hand
Watch out where you stand
Something is flying towards my head
Guess that's the spell to know

Say Accio
This charm is for summoning
Say Accio
Her skill is so humbling

I can't confront you, I never could use
The spells that you do, I try but I lose
When I say, "Expelliarmus is a spell that's used
to diffuse any wizard's bad mood, don't misuse."

Say Accio
For fire, use incendio.
Say Accio
To fix, please use reparo.

Hermione, I ask you, what spells are best in battle?
Confringo, Confundo, these are good or so I hear
Expecto Patronum can conjure happy feelings
Avada, Kedavra, this bad spell is the killing curse!
Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah

Say Accio
Your spells stop the Quidditch beater
Say Accio
Malfoy is a Death Eater.
Track Name: Harry Potter
"Harry Potter" parody of "Buddy Holly" performed by Weezer
New lyrics by Ian Bonds

What's with these muggles I'm livin' with?
Kickin' me 'round for sport?
What did I ever do to these guys?
It's not like I'm Voldemort.

Woo-hoo, but here at Hogwarts.
Woo-hoo, I'm the magic boy.
Woo-hoo, just not to Malfoy.

[chorus]
Woo-ee-oo, Well my name is Harry Potter.
Oh-oh, and I am the Chosen One.
But then again, Nevelle also could have been one.
I don't care 'bout that.

Ginny, don't you fear, I'm always near.
You know where my wand is hung.
I know what gets you all Slitherin.
I'll slip you some Parcel Tongue.

Woo-hoo, And while school is in
Woo-hoo, How can class begin?
Woo-hoo, Cause Some one always dies

[chorus]
Woo-ee-oo, Well my name is Harry Potter.
Oh-oh, and I'm here to rock your world.
I don't care that the Darklord's here to kill me.
It's cause I am the man.
Kiss my Azkaban.

Pop! Pop! It's how we Aperate, It makes some sick, but not me, I'm great
Hope I don't spoil this for you
But it turns out I'm a Horcrux too.
I'm so cool and I'm so slick
I've been impersonated by a chick
Nymphadora, Nymphadora, Nymphadora Tonks
Has Polyjuice potion that they drunk!
Oh-oh-oh!

You Can Death-Eat Me! (x2)

[chorus]
Woo-ee-oo, Well my name is Harry Potter
Oh-oh, and I'm the box office king
Other movies take me on, but with this curse they'll all be gone.
Avada Kedavra(x3)
Track Name: My Name Is Neville
My name is Neville
I'm not the chosen one
I always look disheveled
While Harry's having fun
Cast a spell on me
While I'm drinking tea
It will make me freeze
Just like a statue
I'm in Gryffindor
I've fought Voldemort
Reformed Dumbledore's
Army at Hogwarts

I helped all the students I could
While Harry just played in the woods
I led the army while he was away
They tortured me every day!

My name's Longbottom
I've felt cursed since I was born
But I don't let it bother me
Patronus is a unicorn (Unicorn)
Always get picked on
Still, it makes me strong
Learn herbology
And you know what else?
Guess what I received
From the sorting hat
Sword of Griffindor
To slay Nagini

The snake was the final Horcrux
The Dark Lord has run out luck
Harry was able to fight
Even though he had just died!

The Dark Lord is going to moan
Needs Resurrection Stone
The Death Eaters are so boned
The Malfoys are going home!
Yeah!

My name is Neville
Track Name: Crabbe and Goyle
They say I need some minions
To help me fight
Gonna teach those mudblood scum
To fear me every night
Slytherin is the house
That rules the school
It's just too bad the kids think
That I'm a tool

I'mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain't got a thing
To prove to you
I'll terrorize you
With Crabbe and Goyle
Potter's good times
That is what I'll spoil
I ain't gonna do
what you expect
Your Quidditch game
I plan to wreck
I always sneer
like I smelled a fart
Don't step to me
You don't wanna start

Muggle-borns like to dance
To a happy song
(Mud, Blood)
But I don't think they should learn magic
To me that seems wrong
(Mud, Blood)
Severus knows the way
To teach Defense of Dark Arts
But instead he's stuck with potions
Until the killing starts

I'mma do the things
That I wanna do
Today's the day
That you will rue!
I'll beat you down
With Crabbe and Goyle
But all my plans
Harry seems to foil
I'll go and fix the
Vanishing Cabinet
So inside Hogwarts
The Death Eaters will get
I always look
like something stinks
I don't give a crap
About what you think

No I don't care
I don't care

I'mma do the things
The Dark Lord wants me to do
Oh, Dumbeldore
I'm coming for you
I'll attack Harry
With Crabbe and Goyle
Though Crabbe will die
In the fire, he'll broil
I ain't gonna do
The things you expect
I'll just wuss out
Oh what the heck
I'll never understand
And I see what you think
I always look like
Muggles stink!
Track Name: Potionmaker
Put me in a magic school
'Cause that would be real cool
And I will use a single book
of potions that you teach

Who is the Half Blood Prince?
Hermione's not convinced
That this is the kind of book
That I should even keep

But I keep it by me
Won't let the others see
The potions that I learn are
always quite helpful to me

What's this here on page three?
Oh let me keep it, please
Sectumsempra's an attack
to jack up all your enemies

I'm a potionmaker
Not a potion faker
If I were to do that
It always would screw up

I'm a potionmaker
Not a trouble maker
I don't have the patience
To be the chosen one

I picked up this text book
The first lesson I try
I'm gonna make a draught of this, you'll sniff it
And you'll die

You wanted Living Death
How's this for Living Death?
That's right

I'm growing back my bones
Thanks to a jar of Skele-grow
It's tastes so very gross
and growing bones is really slow

To do it kind of hurts
The bones, they grow in spurts
But Lockhart's really not smart
And his spell, it made it worse

Believe me, ask the nurse
I feel like I am cursed
But thanks to all these potions
Now my troubled luck's reversed

I'm a potionmaker
Pour the girls a shaker
Of Amortentia
Will make them fall in love

I'm a potionmaker
And a potion taker
Tolerance of truth potion
Training can be rough

I'm gonna learn them all
And people will crane necks
To get a glimpse of me
And what potion I'm brewing next

And Slughorn will love me
I am the teacher's pet
Won't use Veritaserum
for the answers that I get

I'm such a mystery
As anyone can see
But take some Polyjuice
and everyone looks just like me

And when it's Quidditch time
Though potions are a crime
I'll give you a placebo
'cause I'm such a crafty guy

I'm a potionmaker
Not a potion baker
You can't bake a potion
You brew it up, you schmuck

I'm a potionmaker
Fighting a Death Eater
I don't have the patience
To be the chosen
(Be the chosen one)

I'm a potionmaker
(Be the chosen one)
I'm a potionmaker
(Be the chosen one)

I'm a potionmaker
(Be the chosen one)
I'm a potionmaker
I'll drink the Liquid Luck