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weezard

by Insane Ian

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    All profits from the sale of this EP go to the Trevor Project, the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25. https://www.thetrevorproject.org

    In celebration of the final Harry Potter movie hitting DVD & Blu-Ray, and the fact that Rivers Cuomo of Weezer looks like a grown-up HP, I figured making an EP that featured parodies of Weezer songs about Wizards was a great idea! All it took was a simple math equation:

    Wizard Rock + Weezer = WEEZARD!
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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 45 Insane Ian releases available on Bandcamp and save 70%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Bioshock EP, Bidet, We Didn't Name The Flier - A Game Grumps/Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom Parody, Get A Clue, Smarm-Proof Lobster Cabinet, Mr. Yuletide (and other Holiday "Hits"), Rap Game Susan Lucci, Illinoise in Illinois (Live at FuMPFeST 2021), and 37 more. , and , .

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  • Physical CD/Download
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    Includes unlimited streaming of weezard via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.
"Unbound - The Horcrux Song" parody of "Undone - The Sweater Song" by Weezer New lyrics by Ian Bonds [Ron:] Hey Harry, how was summer? [Harry:] All right. [Ron:] I'm so glad to be back at Hogwarts! My sister is here this year too! [Harry:] Yeah? [Ron:] Yeah, she won't stop talking about you! [Harry:] That's nice. [Ron:] Aw man, this is the best. I really hope no big, scary thing happens this year! I'm so tired of that. [Harry:] Yeah. [Ron:] Hey, wait, where'd my sister go? [Harry:] I dunno. [Ron:] Aw man, and there's spiders and a big snake! I'll be running away now! Help Me Harry Ginny's Missing Dark Lord Was bored Big snake Looks fake If you want to destroy the journal Use the fang of the basilisk [Hermione:] Harry, the sword! [Harry:] What about it? [Hermione:] The sword is goblin made! [Harry:] Huh? [Hermione:] It takes only what makes it stronger. Like basilisk venom. Or steroids. Soul split locket It's tough As hell (hell) No spell Will break Ice lake In I fell! If you want to destroy a horcrux You'll need something that is powerful (something goblin-made!) Dumbeldore left us a single weapon Use the sword (of Gryffindor) To break the spell [Harry:] Well, we've discovered that the sword will destroy the Horcruxes! That's great! Now all we need to do is find the rest of them! Here Ron, hold this locket. [Ron:] My Precious! [Harry:] Maybe I should hold that. Now, all we need to do is find the others. Did anyone read the books? If you want to destroy a horcux First you have to search around (like you lost your keys) You'd think the Dark Lord would've hid them better You Know Who (Should've given them to) Jimmy Hoffa! I don't want to be the last horcrux Voldemort did that by accident There's cups and rings and stuff like an old dirty tiara I'll break them all (to free your soul) The spell's unbound!
2.
Say Accio 04:15
Oh, yeah Alright Some say Hermione is castin' a charm spell Some say her knowledge is beyond compare Guess she's the one to ask Oh yeah, all right, which spell, is right Flick of the wand hand Watch out where you stand Something is flying towards my head Guess that's the spell to know Say Accio This charm is for summoning Say Accio Her skill is so humbling I can't confront you, I never could use The spells that you do, I try but I lose When I say, "Expelliarmus is a spell that's used to diffuse any wizard's bad mood, don't misuse." Say Accio For fire, use incendio. Say Accio To fix, please use reparo. Hermione, I ask you, what spells are best in battle? Confringo, Confundo, these are good or so I hear Expecto Patronum can conjure happy feelings Avada, Kedavra, this bad spell is the killing curse! Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah Say Accio Your spells stop the Quidditch beater Say Accio Malfoy is a Death Eater.
3.
Harry Potter 02:34
"Harry Potter" parody of "Buddy Holly" performed by Weezer New lyrics by Ian Bonds What's with these muggles I'm livin' with? Kickin' me 'round for sport? What did I ever do to these guys? It's not like I'm Voldemort. Woo-hoo, but here at Hogwarts. Woo-hoo, I'm the magic boy. Woo-hoo, just not to Malfoy. [chorus] Woo-ee-oo, Well my name is Harry Potter. Oh-oh, and I am the Chosen One. But then again, Nevelle also could have been one. I don't care 'bout that. Ginny, don't you fear, I'm always near. You know where my wand is hung. I know what gets you all Slitherin. I'll slip you some Parcel Tongue. Woo-hoo, And while school is in Woo-hoo, How can class begin? Woo-hoo, Cause Some one always dies [chorus] Woo-ee-oo, Well my name is Harry Potter. Oh-oh, and I'm here to rock your world. I don't care that the Darklord's here to kill me. It's cause I am the man. Kiss my Azkaban. Pop! Pop! It's how we Aperate, It makes some sick, but not me, I'm great Hope I don't spoil this for you But it turns out I'm a Horcrux too. I'm so cool and I'm so slick I've been impersonated by a chick Nymphadora, Nymphadora, Nymphadora Tonks Has Polyjuice potion that they drunk! Oh-oh-oh! You Can Death-Eat Me! (x2) [chorus] Woo-ee-oo, Well my name is Harry Potter Oh-oh, and I'm the box office king Other movies take me on, but with this curse they'll all be gone. Avada Kedavra(x3)
4.
My name is Neville I'm not the chosen one I always look disheveled While Harry's having fun Cast a spell on me While I'm drinking tea It will make me freeze Just like a statue I'm in Gryffindor I've fought Voldemort Reformed Dumbledore's Army at Hogwarts I helped all the students I could While Harry just played in the woods I led the army while he was away They tortured me every day! My name's Longbottom I've felt cursed since I was born But I don't let it bother me Patronus is a unicorn (Unicorn) Always get picked on Still, it makes me strong Learn herbology And you know what else? Guess what I received From the sorting hat Sword of Griffindor To slay Nagini The snake was the final Horcrux The Dark Lord has run out luck Harry was able to fight Even though he had just died! The Dark Lord is going to moan Needs Resurrection Stone The Death Eaters are so boned The Malfoys are going home! Yeah! My name is Neville
5.
They say I need some minions To help me fight Gonna teach those mudblood scum To fear me every night Slytherin is the house That rules the school It's just too bad the kids think That I'm a tool I'mma do the things That I wanna do I ain't got a thing To prove to you I'll terrorize you With Crabbe and Goyle Potter's good times That is what I'll spoil I ain't gonna do what you expect Your Quidditch game I plan to wreck I always sneer like I smelled a fart Don't step to me You don't wanna start Muggle-borns like to dance To a happy song (Mud, Blood) But I don't think they should learn magic To me that seems wrong (Mud, Blood) Severus knows the way To teach Defense of Dark Arts But instead he's stuck with potions Until the killing starts I'mma do the things That I wanna do Today's the day That you will rue! I'll beat you down With Crabbe and Goyle But all my plans Harry seems to foil I'll go and fix the Vanishing Cabinet So inside Hogwarts The Death Eaters will get I always look like something stinks I don't give a crap About what you think No I don't care I don't care I'mma do the things The Dark Lord wants me to do Oh, Dumbeldore I'm coming for you I'll attack Harry With Crabbe and Goyle Though Crabbe will die In the fire, he'll broil I ain't gonna do The things you expect I'll just wuss out Oh what the heck I'll never understand And I see what you think I always look like Muggles stink!
6.
Potionmaker 02:42
Put me in a magic school 'Cause that would be real cool And I will use a single book of potions that you teach Who is the Half Blood Prince? Hermione's not convinced That this is the kind of book That I should even keep But I keep it by me Won't let the others see The potions that I learn are always quite helpful to me What's this here on page three? Oh let me keep it, please Sectumsempra's an attack to jack up all your enemies I'm a potionmaker Not a potion faker If I were to do that It always would screw up I'm a potionmaker Not a trouble maker I don't have the patience To be the chosen one I picked up this text book The first lesson I try I'm gonna make a draught of this, you'll sniff it And you'll die You wanted Living Death How's this for Living Death? That's right I'm growing back my bones Thanks to a jar of Skele-grow It's tastes so very gross and growing bones is really slow To do it kind of hurts The bones, they grow in spurts But Lockhart's really not smart And his spell, it made it worse Believe me, ask the nurse I feel like I am cursed But thanks to all these potions Now my troubled luck's reversed I'm a potionmaker Pour the girls a shaker Of Amortentia Will make them fall in love I'm a potionmaker And a potion taker Tolerance of truth potion Training can be rough I'm gonna learn them all And people will crane necks To get a glimpse of me And what potion I'm brewing next And Slughorn will love me I am the teacher's pet Won't use Veritaserum for the answers that I get I'm such a mystery As anyone can see But take some Polyjuice and everyone looks just like me And when it's Quidditch time Though potions are a crime I'll give you a placebo 'cause I'm such a crafty guy I'm a potionmaker Not a potion baker You can't bake a potion You brew it up, you schmuck I'm a potionmaker Fighting a Death Eater I don't have the patience To be the chosen (Be the chosen one) I'm a potionmaker (Be the chosen one) I'm a potionmaker (Be the chosen one) I'm a potionmaker (Be the chosen one) I'm a potionmaker I'll drink the Liquid Luck
7.

about

All profits from the sale of this EP go to the Trevor Project, the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25.

In celebration of the final Harry Potter movie hitting DVD & Blu-Ray, and the fact that Rivers Cuomo of Weezer looks like a grown-up HP, I figured making an EP that featured parodies of Weezer songs about Wizards was a great idea! All it took was a simple math equation:

Wizard Rock + Weezer = WEEZARD!

credits

released November 11, 2011

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Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

Insane (adj): shocking, outrageous

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God" - Dr Demento

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show.
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