We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.


by Insane Ian



As part of my ongoing project to write short, dumb songs...here's this one, mildly based on a true story.


I don't know how to use the bidet my wife bought
And now i'm simply too scared to ask (uhh)
I'd figure it out if I gave it some thought
It just sprays water right up your ass (yeah)

But what if it's too cold?
Or I can't get the angle right?
If I may be so bold
What if maybe my booty's tight?
Feel like I'm being trolled
No I just do not get the hype

This kinda thing just ain't for me
But I gotta learn eventually

Today, I will use the bidet
I will find a way-ay-ay, to use the bidet

I'll go get Taco Bell with all the fire sauce
Then workout at the gym and do 30 squats
Eat a whole lotta cheese ‘cause my intolerance
Will force me to use this chamber pot from France


released March 1, 2024
Words and music by Insane Ian
Mixed and mastered by Kyle Carrozza




Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

Insane (adj): shocking, outrageous

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God" - Dr Demento

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show.
... more

contact / help

Contact Insane Ian

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this track or account

Insane Ian recommends:

If you like Insane Ian, you may also like: