Grand Theft Audio

by Insane Ian

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  • Grand Theft Audio - CD/DVD Collection

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    Includes full 22-track CD, as well as a DVD featuring two live performances, 13 music videos, and more! This is the package that Kickstarter funded, and features music videos for DiG DuG, We're All Gonna Die, Super-Powers and many more!

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about

"Grand Theft Audio" is a b-sides/rarities collection of FuMP tracks, Song Fu entries and other oddities of Insane Ian's that never wound up on an album proper. As such, the quality of some of the recordings and production fluctuates, but there's a wide variety of different material here.

credits

released November 30, 2012

see individual album tracks for credits

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Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God..." - Dr Demento (The Dr Demento Show)

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show.
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Track Name: Bob-Omb
Princess Peach, out of reach
That's just how you are, Life
in the Mushroom Kingdom
Shouldn't be this stinkin' hard
Should have known you were gone in the first instant
But you were in another castle
Another castle?
King Koppa grabbed you
By Bowser you were caught
The koopa troops I fought, I did
But you were never there is all Toad ever said
But what you don't understand is
I’d catch a Bob-Omb for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Jump right under a Thwomp for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d run in front of Chain Chomp for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
All the Goombas I'd stomp for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
Every level starts to look the same,
Bullet bill is headed straight to my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
This ain't some kind of game.

No, no, no, no
Black, black, black and blue, had only 1 life left
Tellin' Bowser he's a louse as I throw fire at his chest
Back home, all alone,
Think I don't know what's up?
You and lazy Princess Daisy playing "Two Girls, One Up"
I brought you back home
And you got captured again
You got captured again, yes you did
To stay in one damn place is all I ever asked
Cause what you don't understand is
I’d beat Donkey Kong for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Play a dumb round of golf for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Dance in Bowser's old thong for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd even play Pong for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all these games,
Hell I'd even play Mario Paint,
I'd lose a life for ya baby;
But you won't do the same

You know I'm at your service, ooh
But now I'm so upset it seems
I found out that you're caught on purpose
By him every, every, EVERY time baby...
But darling I’ll still catch a Bob-Omb for ya
Jump right under a Thwomp for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d run in front of Chain Chomp for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
All the Goombas I'd stomp for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Or send Luigi, hey it's all the same,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you just think I'm lame.
No you wouldn't do the same,
Not even in your game
Ooh, you’ll never do the same,
No, no, no, no

©2011 Idolize W.A.Y. Recordings/Ian Bonds. All Rights Reserved.
Track Name: Consortium of Comprehension
I Did Not Quite Fully Understand The Challenge This Week
Track Name: Cooler Than Me
Cooler Than Me performed by Mike Posner
Written by Eric Richard Holljes and Mike Posner
New lyrics by Ian Bonds

If I could write you a song to make you understand
That I'm so sick of getting my face shoved in the sand
I used to think you'd relate to my sad beach fate.
but you probably don't you're so much cooler than me.

You know all the people at Office Depot
They know you by name cause you're cooler than me.
Your "Member's Only" Jacket caused quite a racket
at the trendy night club, you're so much cooler than me.

you got a unibrow across your face,
and you don't even care that it looks strange.
and you don't care who stops and stares
when your laugh make that much noise.

Shh.

I see you out at the con
walking around like a Klingon
behind your make up nobody knows who you even are
Who do you think that you are?

If I could peek in your room I could just surmise
How you found underroos that were made in your size
You have 18 pairs of ones with Care Bears
That you wear everyday, you're so much cooler than me.

you're a Dungeon Master approved by NASA
and you can be seen from space, you're so much cooler than me.
You speak native Na'vi, can you say "Envy"?
You know "I see you", you're so much cooler than me.

you you you kinda stutter, and trip when you walk,
and you don't even blush when you pass gas.
You wear tap shoes whenever you're out
and your steps make so much noise.

Shh.

I want to be cool as you,
but I can't get my hair to look like yours.
You've got a mullet, with business up front. And a party in back.
The party's always in back.

'Cause it sure seems
('Cause it sure seems)
Y'got it all figured out
(That you figured it out)
'Cause in your dreams
(In your dreams)
You rhinoplastey-ied your snout
(Snout)

If I could have one moment to just get you alone
I could steal a lock of hair and then make me a clone
You know I know the way to mesh our DNA
but it's a crime against man, you're so much cooler than me.

Your collection of fungus is so humongous
I wish mine was too, you're so much cooler than me.
You see where all the space went in your parents basement
You just moved down there, you're so much cooler than me.

©2011 Idolize W.A.Y. Recordings/Insane Ian. All Rights Reserved.
Track Name: Hey Birthday Boy
We celebrate your birthday
Even if you don't
Be glad you're getting older
'Cause when you're dead you won't!
So happy happy birthday
From everyone you know
Now we will light the candles
And birth - day - boy - you - blow!
Track Name: CosPlaying FanGurls - featuring the great Luke Ski
CosPlaying FanGurls by Insane Ian feat. the great Luke Ski
Parody of "California Gurls" by Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg
New lyrics by Ian Bonds. Rap by Luke Sienkowski

Luke Dogg: Greetings Hot Girls,
Dress like You're Nerdy.

1)
I know a place
Where a lot of things are nerdy
Chicks in outfits
That get me thinking thoughts so dirty
Dressin' in corsets (Luke Dogg: Don't forget bustierres)
They stayed up all night sewing costumes (SCHOOL NIGHT)
(Luke Dogg: You got that Hot Glue Gun, Girl!)
We Gawk as they Walk
Jaws drop as they enter the ballroom (Quagmire: ALL RIGHT!)

Their attention to detail
They worked all week to impress other geeks
Costumed heroes in chain mail
I think I'm falling in love,
Oh, oh oh, Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh!

Chorus 1
Science Fiction Gurls, they are so popular
Slave Leia, bikini in gold
Dark Green Skin on all of the Orion Gurls!
Oh, oh-oh, Oh, oh-oh-Orion!
(Luke Dogg: 7 of 9? Pff...'nuff said!)

Fantasy FanGurls, (Luke Dogg: Fangurls)they are so literal
Pointy eared elves will raise my point
Hermione's so hot, but not yet legal
Oh, oh-no, No, oh-oh-oh-no!
(Luke Dogg: I like that Steam Punk with Junk in the Trunk, girl!)

2)
Pose for photos
With Stormtroopers in Stilettos (Luke Dogg: Yeah)
They freak out the geeks (Luke Dogg: You know it, baby!)
Dressed as some obscure heroes (or villians)

You could travel the world
From Comic-Con to Con, they got it going on
They are just every day girls
Who love what I love!
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh!

Chorus 2
Superhero Gurls, they are spectacular
Super short skirt on Supergirl
Makes me wanna watch as she flys away
Up up up and away! Up up up and away!
(Luke Dogg: Dressed like Sue Storm, You're looking Fantatsic! ...Wait, where'd you go?)

Video Game Girls, they are so digital
Lara Croft's Tomb is over-Raided (Luke Dogg: Yeah!)
Chun Li's thunder thighs will win the Street Fight
Hi, hi-ya, ya, Hi, hi-ya, hi-ya!

[Luke's Rap Verse]

Dragon*Con or San Diego,
I'll go wherever they go.
PAX East, West coast.
These are the girls I love the most.
Elastigirl makes my Pix-heart twirl.
Save the cheerleader, save the world.
(Roger Rabbit: Pblblbleeease!) that Jessica dame.
Starbuck's the same, hot as the coffee with her name.
There's Evie with Kaylee,
and from BSG, 6 is a 10 to me.
Dr. Girlfriend with her deep sexy voice
shows Kim Possible how to get boys.
Wonder Woman, tie me up!
Costume contest, line 'em up!
Cheetara, Inara, Zatanna,
With Uhura, led by Queen Amidala,
Leela, and Xena, (Xena yell: Haililililili!)
Got the power like She-Ra.
(Chris Waffle: Uh huh!) Judge Chris Waffle tells every cutie,
Chris Waffle: C'mon fangirls, shake that booty!

Chorus 3
CosPlaying Fangurls, they are incredible
From comic books to anime
Spandex is a privilege, it is not a right
Oh, oh-oh, Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh

CosPlaying FanGurls, they are so popular
Guys fight for a picture with them
Fin'ly found some girls that will talk to us!
Oh, oh-oh, Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh

Science Fiction...and Fantasy Gurls
(Luke Dogg: You know I wish they could all be CosPlaying FanGurls...)

Science Fiction...Double Feature Show.
(Luke Dogg: Rose Tyler, Martha Jones, Donna Noble, Amy Pond...You can all be MY companions)

(c) 2010 Idolize W.A.Y. Recordings/Insane Ian. All Rights Reserved
Track Name: (If You're Wondering If I'm Stalking You) I'm Stalking You
(If You’re Wondering If I’m Stalking You) I’m Stalking You
Parody of “(If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To” by Weezer
New lyrics by Ian Bonds and Jace McLain

The moon was shining on your house that night
My telescope was angled there just right
I watched and waited as you undressed and turned off all the lights
You turned on music and then started to dance
That's when I figured I have no need for pants
My night vision goggles set the tone for our late night dark romance
I study how you move and I'm admiring your style
You look outside your window and see I'm wearing just a smile
And I said…Girl, if you’re wondering if I’m watching you (I’m watching you)
I’m watching you (I’m watching you)
Please don’t be rude
Now there’s no need to hide

The rest of the summer went on in the same way
I watched you bathing, wishing I was your bidet
Restraining orders are kind of like suggestions anyway
We went to the movies, but well, I wasn't with you
I search your garbage to learn more about you
I asked John Hinkley for advice on what thing next I should do
You were in your garden and I fell out of your tree
I was sniffing you and the cops were right there behind me
And I said…Girl, if you’re wondering if I’m stalking you (I’m stalking you)
I’m stalking you (I’m stalking you)
I swear it’s true
When you move, I follow you
Oh girl, if you’re wondering if I’m stalking you (I’m stalking you)
I’m stalking you (I’m stalking you)
Please don’t be rude
Court orders I will fight

So, I'll stay
Inside your ba-asement
There I'll hide and wait for you
And then I'll make you pay

I'll keep you in a pit, wash your alabaster skin
You'll put the lotion on or else you'll get the hose again
And I'll say…Girl, if you’re wondering if I’m wearing you (I’m wearing you)
I’m wearing you (I’m wearing you)
I swear I'll use
These slippers, made from your pubes
Oh girl, if you’re wondering if I worship you (I worship you)
I worship you (I worship you)
I won't kill you
So please put down the knife

©2011 Idolize W.A.Y. Recordings/Ian Bonds. All Rights Reserved
Track Name: It's Good To Be The King - by the great Luke Ski feat. Devo Spice, Insane Ian & Bud Sharpe
"It's Good To Be The King"

A parody of "Down With The King" by Run DMC feat. Pete Rock and C.L. Smooth, about the movies and career of Mel Brooks

Parody lyrics by the great Luke Ski

© 2010 Luke Sienkowski



Mademoiselle Rimbaud: Just spoil me! Humiliate me! Only do it! Do it! Hump! Hump! Hump!

Jacques: *whistles* It's good to be the king!



Opening Chorus:

It's good to be the king! It's good to be the king!

It's good to be the king! It's good to be the king!



King Louis XVI: It's good to be the king! - It's good to be the king! -

It's good to be the king!

Rabbi Tuchman: It's good to be the king!



Verse 1: (Luke Ski)

[1961-1973: The 2000 Year Old Man,

Get Smart, The Producers, The Twelve Chairs]

Down with Mel Brooks, the king comedy hero stands,

Ever since Reiner spoke to the 2000 Year Old Man.

Start with Get Smart, causin' CHAOS so much grief.

86 is out of CONTROL. [Maxwell Smart: "Sorry about that, Chief".]

Cuttin' much looser, Producers know how to really shock.

Doom fills the room, Leo Bloom and Max Bialystock.

'Springtime For Hitler' should have made the people grous,

But those hotsy totsy Nazis started bringing down the house.

It's always hysterical, and wet, and in pain,

Whether Zero and Wilder, or Broderick and Lane.

Twelve Chairs, one with jewels, some men with no scruples,

Getting drunk with 'two Russians, one rubel'.



1st Chorus:

It's good to be the king! It's good to be the king!

It's good to be the king! It's good to be the king!



King Louis XVI: It's good to be the king!

Leo Bloom: Blue blanket! Give me my blue blanket! AaAaAaHh!

Taggart: What in the wide, wide, world of sports is-a goin' on here?


Verse 2: (Devo Spice)

[1974: Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein]

Long long ago, in the old West,

Bart wore a tin star on his chest.

With the Waco Kid, finger on the trigger,

But Rock Ridge flipped, because the sherrif is a (*bell clang*)

'Harrumph harrumph harrumph!' is what the governor said, he

Told the bad guy Heddy Lamarr. [Hedley Lamarr: "That's Hedley!"]

What Taggart and Mongo learned soon of course,

Was never underestimate the power of the schwartz.

Meanwhile in Transylvania, what an eyesore.

Dr. Fronkensteen met Inga and I-gor.

Pretty soon Fred reanimated the dead.

His manner's informal, 'cause his brain's Abby Normal.

The monster scared Kemp and the villagers to bits.

But before too long, they were "Puttin On The Ritz".

His bride was a looker who liked is schwanzstucker,

And don't forget FRAU BLUCHER! (*horse whinny*)



2nd Chorus:

It's good to be the king! It's good to be the king!

It's good to be the king! It's good to be the king!



King Louis XVI: It's good to be the king!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstien: Sed-a-give?!

Josephus: Aw, seize this, honkus!

Court Spokesman: Remember, thou art mortal!

Marcus Vindictus: Oh, blow it out your ass!


Verse 3: (Insane Ian)

[1975-1986: Silent Movie, High Anxiety,

History of the World: Part I, To Be Or Not To Be]

Mel's having some fun, big stars do his schtick.

He'll make a film with no sound that's full of slapstick.

He had some High Anxiety, a pooping bird flock.

That psycho bell boy can suck his Hitchcock. [Brophy: "I got it!"] (*thud!*)

Next he did a testament to History. (*break!*)

He brought us some commandments that were once fifteen. [Moses: "Ten!"]

Josephus danced his way into a big orgy,

Until he flunked the eunuch test, and then he had to flee.

The Spanish Inquisition you would never expect,

All the singing they are bringing while they're wringing your neck.

The dumb scum of France [Madame DeFarge: "Fronce"] on Bastille Day

Is after Count De Money. [Count DeMoney: " Dee-Moe-Nay! Dee-Moe-Nay!"]

Was a french piss boy mench without a drop of wealth.

And in 'To Be Or Not To Be', he said, 'Heil myself'! [Col. Erhardt "Schultz!"]

His Hamlet's a disgrace, but he's in Der Feuhrer's face,

Put Hitler in his place, and up next is Jews In Space!



3rd Chorus:

It's good to be the king! It's good to be the king!

It's good to be the king! It's good to be the king!



King Louis XVI: It's good to be the king!

Comicus: When you die at the palace, you really die at the palace!

Col. Sanders: Get me the videocassette of "Spaceballs: The Movie"!


Verse 4: (Bud Sharpe)

[1987-present: Spaceballs, Life Stinks, Robin Hood: Men In Tights,

Dracula: Dead And Loving It, Broadway Musicals)

Once upon a time warp, out in the stars,

Druish princesses drove flying cars.

Dark Helmet was a nerd in a big garbage can.

Lone Starr's gotta Barf! [Sean Connery: "You're the dog now, man!"]

Yogurt's merchandising's coming out of his big ears,

So why are there no Spaceballs action figures?

Lone Starr wed Vespa and beat that fake Sith dude. [Dark Helmet: "Aaah!"]

Dot needs a tissue, May the Schwartz be with you. [Dinks: "Dink!"]

If you think that Life Stinks, just like Blinkin' who blinks,

Straight from Sherwood, it's Wesley- Robin Hood!

Must pick the lock on the girl he's betrothing.

Merry Men are loathing wearing women's clothing.

Achoo is the new black sherrif, I reckon.

Defeat Dracula who looks just like Frank Drebin.

On Broadway, Mel keeps it gay, and someday his muse it will

Hopefully lead to making 'Spaceballs: The Musical'!



4th Chorus:

It's good to be the king! It's good to be the king!

It's good to be the king! It's good to be the king!



King Louis XVI: It's good to be the king!

Yogurt: May the Schwartz be with yooooouuuu!

Max Bialystock: When you've got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!



Buddy's Singers: Throw out your hands! Stick out your tush!
Hands on your hips! Give them a push! You'll be surprised,

you're doing the French Mistake! VOILA!! (*dancer trips up*)

Director Buddy Bizarre: All right, CUT! WROOOONG! (*whop!) Okay, just watch me, it's so simple, you sissymearys! Gimmie the playback! And, watch, me,-



Igor: Walk this way!

Sheriff of Rottingham: Walk this way!

Igor: Walk this way!

Miriam: Walk this way!

Luke Ski: She told me to-

Igor: Walk this way!

Sheriff of Rottingham: Walk this way!

Igor: Walk this way!

Miriam: Walk this way!
Track Name: The Legend of PRB
“The Legend of PRB” by Ian Bonds

They say Rob Balder is a mighty man
Standin’ 5 foot 10 with a pen in his hand
But he’d never hurt a flea, or a spider.

But to this author of “Partially Clips”
Somethin’ happens when alcohol touches his lips
And he becomes so much more than a web comic writer

Chorus:

Party Rob, Party Rob
The Most Loaded Gun in the West
Party Rob, Party Rob
Ahhh, ahh, Party Rob

When I first met him at Balticon
He didn’t have those fuzzy ears on
And he just seemed so…unassuming

Someone said “room party”, next thing I know
His eyes lit up and his smile did glow
And he revealed a love that one could call "consuming."


Chorus:

Party Rob, Party Rob
He’ll take six Jello Shots to the chest
Party Rob, Party Rob
Ahhh, ahhh, Party Rob

When I finally met Party Rob, y’see
It was just outside of the Twin Cities
After a long 30 hour bus ride

He appeared with a flourish and said with a wink
“Ladies, tighten those corsets, it’s time to drink!”
And he had a whip cream can by his side.

Chorus:

Party Rob, Party Rob
He’ll shoot that cheese whiz off your breast
Party Rob, Party Rob
Ahhh, ahhh, Party Rob

Bridge (Spoken):

They say that ol’ Party Rob moved from con to con, room party to room party. In each one, he’d invent a new drink. From Candy Corn Shots to the Santa's Beard, from the Apple iDrunk to something called a Pie Fight, you’d know he was there by the drunken warbling of JoCo songs and intermittent sounds of aerosol food being dispensed onto bare female flesh. His gang, Captain Morgan, Jack Daniels, and Jose Cuervo ruled the con scene…and were gone by the next night.

Well Party Rob just couldn’t be stopped
And by the time they called for the cops
There wasn’t a full glass in the place

And by the next morning at the end of the con
Rob Balder was back and Party Rob was gone
But he wore the evening’s events on his face

Party Rob, Party Rob
He was hung over by that tree
Party Rob, Party Rob
Ahhh, ahhhh Party Rob

Spoken:
Ian: Rob? You're staggering...

Rob: Well, I realize I'm attractive, but I've rarely been called Staggering...

(c) 2009 Idolize W.A.Y. Recordings/Ian Bonds. All Rights Reserved
Track Name: Moves Like Frogger - feat. The Stacey
[Verse 1]
In my neighborhood
Traffic's heavy
And I think I could
Dodge this Chevy
When I cross the street, gotta move my feet
Or I am dead meat

So I just think back
To the arcade
My plan of attack
The game I played
My soul I will bare, my secret I'll share
To cross over there

So I hop like this

[Chorus]
Tell me what game's
inspiration
Could fit in this
situation

You want the moves like Frogger
I've got the moves like Frogger
I've got the mooooooves... like Frogger

Why'd the chicken cross the road, did
he know something I don't know

With them the moves like Frogger
I've got the moves like Frogger
I've got the mooooooves... like Frogger

[Verse 2]
Well, Maybe it's lame
Stop complaining
I'm using this game
For my training
To zig zag through trucks, I'm trying my luck
I don't give a...crap

I jump on a log
Or a turtle
I act like a frog
jump this hurdle
I ran for a mile, I'm hopping with style
Over crocodiles

And I hop like this

[Chorus]
Meet me by the freeway
I'll teach ya
How to avoid
Being street pizza

You want the moves like Frogger
I've got the moves like Frogger
I've got the mooooooves... like Frogger

Go ahead and tell your mommy
At what I learned from Konami

With them the moves like Frogger
I've got the moves like Frogger
I've got the mooooooves... like Frogger

[Bridge - The Stacey]
You wanna know how to play the game
Take it slow, or else you might get maimed
Just avoid the traffic
Or it might get graphic
And that would end up tragic

So watch and learn
I won't show you twice
Up and down, ooh baby, left and right
And if you move much faster
You're gonna be a master
You won't need a pastor

[Insane Ian]
And it goes like this

[Chorus]
Tell all the kids in
The school yard that
I'm the greatest
Crossing guard, yeah

You want the moves like Frogger
I've got the moves like Frogger
I've got the mooooooves... like Frogger

Why'd the chicken cross the road, did
he use the Konami Code?

With them the moves like Frogger
I've got the moves like Frogger
I've got the mooooooves... like Frogger
Track Name: Saving The World As We Know It (Mondays At Nine) - Live From Marscon 2009
Time Slips/It starts with an eclipse
Nathan flies just like a plane
And Sylar wants to see your brains

I have a new show/really love this new show
Haven't seen? You gotta see/Monday nights on NBC
It's all I watch now on TV/Stop Time and Space
'cause Hiro is the Hero/just like a walking TiVO
His daddy is Sulu/working with an evil crew/in a company for hire at a paper mill
Niki's split persona/has the stones and the cojones to break your neck
Peter, Peter, power eater/sees a power, then repeats her
Like his brother's flight/flying then
Uh oh/this hero/can't be hurt/look out below
Lovely Claire's/without a care/'cept herself
Painting of exploding man
gotta stop him if we can
Daddy is the baddie with the horn rimmed specs, right?
Issac's stoned/Loves Simone/Feeling pretty psychic

Chorus:
And they're saving the world as we know it
Yes they're saving the world, so heroic
yes they're saving the world as we know it
Mondays at Nine.

Nine o'clock/TV hour/don't tell me about Jack Bauer
Micah's cool/he's no fool/fixes laptops after school
Cheerleader uniform/toe cutting/no hiding
Now the plot is escalating/while a train's incinerating
Claire's a savior/caught on camera
Parkman/Cop-man
Hear's your thoughts/think think
Uh oh/now Hiro/is in the past/like a flash/Charlie's such a helpless lass
A candidate/A candidate/A candidate who flies
Linderman's solution/there's no absolution for the world

Chorus

The other night i dreamt that I/could heal the world and then I fly
Away from the blast in the sky
LINDERMAN DIED
Dl can phase and Jess is hot/They're all things Surresh is not
What happened to Nathan when Pete goes boom?
There's a hiccup/it'll pickup after writer's strike, right?
Right.

Chorus
Save the cheerleader, Save the world.

(c) 2008 Idolize W.A.Y. Recordings/Ian Bonds. All rights reserved.
Track Name: The Super Epic Video Game Medley II: Championship Edition
The Super Epic Video Game Medley II: Championship Edition

"Sonic The Hedgehog"
Parody of "Rock You Like a Hurricane" by Scorpions (Schenker, R; Meine, K; Rarebell, H)
New lyrics by Ian Bonds

It's early morning
The Sun comes out
The ground starts shaking
It's pretty loud
The woodland creatures
All try to flee
but Eggman's not as
fast as me!

He grabs them all
as I grab rings
then I destroy
his evil things
I jump on the plunger
Creatures are freed
I can not stay
'Cause I'm on speed

Here I run, Sonic the Hedgehog
Watch me run, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog!

"Love Mr. Do!"
Parody of "Love Me Do" by the Beatles (McCartney, P; Lennon, J)
New lyrics by Ian Bonds

(I) Love Mr. Do!
He's A Clown, It's True!
He Throws Balls At You!
So play-ay-ay-ay
Mr. Do!
oh oh, Mr. Do!

"Grand Theft Auto"
Parody of "Band on the Run" by Wings (Mccartney, Linda; Mccartney, Paul)
New lyrics by Ian Bonds

Well, my car exploded with a mighty crash
I did it just for show
and I said to her, taking another one
"I need your cash, you ho!"

Grand Theft Auto
Grand Theft Auto
And Liberty and Vice City
Are the places that we go

In our Grand Theft Auto
In our Grand Theft Auto
Grand Theft Auto
Grand Theft Auto

"Gary's Mod"
Parody of "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne (Collingwood, Chris; Schlesinger, Adam)
New lyrics by Ian Bonds
(based on a fan-made modification of the video game Half Life 2)

Gary's Mod has got it going on
It's all I need and I've been playing for so long
Gary can't you see
You have got the mod for me
I know that modding's wrong but
I'm in love with Gary's Mod

"Frogger Cross the Street"
Parody of "Danicng in the Street" as performed by Mick Jagger and David Bowie (Hunter, Ivy; Stevenson, William; Gaye, Marvin)
New lyrics by Ian Bonds

Crawling out across the swamp
And those flies are looking extra sweet
But the cars are fast and now it's time to
Help Frogger cross the streets

All we need is swampland, sweet swampland
But there's carnage everywhere
Cars are swerveing, swaying, chicken I'm playing,
Will Frogger cross the street? Oh,

It doesn't matter where you land, just give that poor frog a hand
So come on, every one, it's not hard
To be the froggy crossing guard
We'll help Frogger, Frogger Cross the Street

"Pikachu"
Parody of "Forget You" by Cee-lo Green (Cee Lo Green, Bruno Mars, Philip Lawrence, Ari Levine, Brody Brown)
New lyrics by Ian Bonds
Suggested by Mike Stettz

I see you fightin' 'round town with your pokemon
but it's not
Pikachu

And the name that I call
when i throw pokeballs is always
Pikachu, baby
i choose you

I said
I would choose Meowth
but he won't shut his mouth

huh, ain't that some shh
(ain't that some shh)

I've overcome this hurdle
by defeating Squirtle with
Pikachu!

"Playin' Halo"
Parody of "Ridin' Solo" by Jason Derulo (Desrouleaux, Jason Joel; Rotem, Jonathan; Thomas, Xavier)
New lyrics by Ian Bonds
Suggested by Mike Cisneros

I'm duel wielding with both of my guns,
They're all out for blood, gotta stop the Flood
It's Halo, I'm playin' Halo
I'm playin' Halo, I'm playin' Halo, Halo

Cortana won't stop with the grief
I'm beyond belief cause I'm Master Chief
It's Halo, I'm playin' Halo
I'm playin' Halo, I'm playin' Halo, Halo

"Young Street Fighter"
Parody of "Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas (Carl Douglas and Vivian Hawke)
New lyrics by Ian Bonds

It was a fighting tournament in every funky town
They were punching them up
They were knocking them down
It's a simple flick of wrist
combos too much to list
a silence filled the room
As I unleashed a Sonic Boom

But I was just a young Street Fighter
Hadoken made the screen brighter
Zangief began to perspire
Chun Li could kick much higher

"Angry Birds"
Parody of "Firework" by Katy Perry (Mikkel S. Eriksen, Tor Erik Hermansen, Sandy Wilhelm, Ester Dean)
New lyrics by Ian Bonds

And now I'm playing Angry Birds
I'll beat up those piggy hurds
The bacon starts to fly-iy-iy
As they shoot across the sky-iy-iy!

"Playin' Some Mario Kart"
Parody of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler (Jim Steinman)
New lyrics by Ian Bonds and Luke Sienkowski

(Turn Around)
Grab your steering wheel and turn around and hit the gas so you won't fall off the rainbow road
(Turn Around)
Grab your steering wheel and turn around and hit the gas so you'll escape banana peels from Toad!

(Turn around, Shy Guy)
Every now and then I grab a block
(Turn around, Shy Guy)
Every now and then I get a shock!

Which will turn me small, oh my
Then get flattened by my brother
That Luigi think he is so sly
But Bob-ombs, I've got another!

I never hit the brake button, I always excell
And thanks to Wario I've really been through Shell

Oh here we go, out of sight!
The mushroom cup will start tonite
That Gold trophy is mine (alright)

Once upon a time, over barrels I jumped
But now I'm racing so press start
Nothing I can do, I'm playing some Mario Kart!

(Turn Around Shy Guy)
(Turn Around Shy Guy!)

(c) 2011 Idolize W.A.Y. Recordings/Ian Bonds. All rights reserved.
Track Name: Umbrella Chronicles (Marie Digby as a MoFo Version)
“Umbrella Chronicles” parody of “Umbrella” by Rihanna, as performed by Marie Digby
New Lyrics by I. Bonds

I nearly screamed
When we first got on the scene
It's like a bad dream
What happened to the Bravo team?
Baby cause in the dark
There’s no sign of the other S.T.A.R.S.
This simply cannot be
My friends are all zombies
Because

When the dead rise, they rise together
Told you we’re never dead forever
They just want to eat your brains
This Umbrella has nothin’ to do with rain
Now that they’re dead it’s such a pity
What will happen to Raccoon City
We can put a stop to this Umbrella
We can overthrow this Umbrella
(Ella ella eh)
Overthrow Umbrella
(Ella ella eh)
Overthrow Umbrella
(Ella ella eh)
Overthrow Umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

These walking dead
Take a shotgun to the head
That really brings them down
If there’s more ammo around
Who knows what you will see
When you mix red herbs with green
Oh please take my hand
There’s no Alice in this Wonderland
Because

When the stuff shines, it means we need it
Got that weird puzzle completed
Found this trinket over there
Who would know it uncovered a set of stairs?
Now my key’s got the crest of a king
I’m the Master of Unlocking
We can put a stop to this Umbrella
We can overthrow this Umbrella
(Ella ella eh)
Overthrow Umbrella
(Ella ella eh)
Overthrow Umbrella
(Ella ella eh)
There's A Lab down in the celler
(Ella ella eh eh eh)

Read something in someone’s files
Handwriting just like a child
“Itchy, Tasty”
So go on and let the rain pour
I just need to find the cure
Because

When Wesker returns I’ll kill him
Can’t believe he is the villain
There’s some red in his left iris
Must be the effects of the T-Virus
Now that the mansion is exploding
His stock options aren’t worth holding
You can buy stock in Umbrella
But don’t buy stock in Umbrella
(Ella ella eh)
Stock in Umbrella
(Ella ella eh)
Don’t buy, Just Quick Sell-a
(Ella ella eh)
There's a lab down in the cell-ah
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh)

It's evil
Ooh baby it's evil
Residentially
“Itchy, Tasty”
It's evil
Oh baby, it’s evil
Residentially
"Itchy, Tasty"
Ella ella eh

(c) 2011 Idolize W.A.Y. Recordings & Insane Ian
Track Name: We're All Gonna Die - featuring Kiki Canon, Devo Spice and Schaffer the Darklord
“We’re All Gonna Die” by Ian Bonds, Kiki Canon, Tom Rockwell & Mark Schaffer
Music by Ian Bonds & Benjamin Stahl

Nerd: (Spoken): Hello? Is there anyone in here? It’s so dark...Sara? Steven? Where’d you guys go? Maybe down this dimly lit pathway to the basement. Are you guys messing around? Why is the floor so sticky?

Sara & Steven: (scream)

Nerd (Spoken): Oh man, not again!

Verse 1 - Insane Ian - Nerd/Virgin

Holy crap, you guys! Are you all ok?
Who’da thought this field trip would turn out this way?
When we left today for this factor-ay
I never thought this’d be our final resting place
You know we were so surprised when we found
This place was built on ancient burial ground
But the teachers didn’t really seem to fear
When couples from our group began to disappear
First Greg and Peg both vanished together
Then Alfred was gone, quickly followed by Heather
I just heard Sara and Steven starting to shout
They had just run off to go make out
I’m only still alive ‘cause I’m still a virgin
The killer chopped ‘em up like he’s some kind of surgeon
And stacked their body parts way up on a shelf
Oops, I think I just soiled myself.

Chorus - Kiki - Hot Vapid Chick

Oh my God, We’re All Gonna Die
Oh my God, We’re All Gonna Die
sliced and diced by some psychopathic guy
And I think that I’m going to cry

So look out, a killer’s on the loose
What’s he want, can we call a truce?
My guy was hung, but now it’s from a noose
I don’t think I can live through this abuse

Verse 2 - Devo Spice - Jock/Hero

Everybody let’s all calm down
Everything is gonna be alright, but right now
We need a leader and it oughtta be me ‘cause after all
I’m the captain of the football team, I outrank you all
So what’s the situation? Emily’s dead?
A psychopath took a weed whacker to her head?
We’re trapped inside a house and there’s a killer comin’ at us?
Hang on, let me post that on my Facebook status
We need to find weapons, everybody look around
If we split up into teams then we can cover more ground
You two go upstairs, if you need me send a text
I’ll be here with the hot cheerleader having sex
Insert obligatory nude scene here
That was great, nice rack, hey you got any beer?
Yeah you go freshen up, I’ll be here when you get back
Hey what was that? *stab* Schaffer: “Haha! Now you’re even better in the sack!”

Chorus 2 - Kiki

Oh my God, we’re all gonna die
Oh my God, we’re all gonna die
He turned Eddie and Myra into pies
and cut the shortest kid in class down to size

What did we do to deserve dismembered friends
Tell us now maybe we can make amends
Is there anyone willing to defend
This cute chick before she meets a gruesome end

Bridge - Kiki

Wait a minute here aren’t you that nerd
You want to take on the killer? Absurd!
I must admit a hunky hero’s preferred
But it’s really sexy that you won’t be deterred

Your crush on me I’ve always taunted and spurned
But your bravery has my thoughts on you turned
I could change my feelings where you’re concerned
Holy crap! Look out! The killer’s finally returned

Verse 3 - Schaffer the Darklord - The Killer/Former Class-mate

In a last act-slash-fast visceral scene
A cold chill and scream reveal the killer as me
A chainsaw in one hand, machete in the other
In a mask and coveralls, all bloodily covered
In the guts of your friends, you’re realizing it then
That historically, the last meets the goriest end
I get your neck in my grasp as you grab at my mask
And at last pull it away from my face as you gasp
*Ian: “It’s you!” Yeah, it’s me, and it was all along
Your creepy outcast classmate never invited along
To join in the fun of this field trip or any other
So I got revenge and built a shrine to my mother
And now you’re gonna die too like all the rest
Could stick an axe in your face or punch a hole through your chest
Or chop you in half, watching every drop of you drain
You’ve got the body, I’ve got the brain

Last Chorus - Kiki

Oh my God, we’re all gonna die
Oh my God, we’re all gonna die
Nerdy boy, if you save me from this guy
Maybe I’ll let you in between my thighs

Please tell me you thought to bring a gun
Or you know an escape route we can run
You say, weapons, you’ve got not a one
I think this time we surely must be done

Final verse - Insane Ian

The game’s at an end, it looks like we’re screwed
To get chopped up by some mask wearing dude
But I look to the chick, my hope’s been renewed
I’m not gonna die before I’ve touched a boob!
You’ve got me by the neck, everything’s going black
I reach in my back pack for something to attack
I rummage around, at your face i will claw
Til I find the missing Gypsy's voodoo doll
I speak the magic words that the old woman taught me
And never again will you come back to haunt me
I banish your soul, I send you to hell
And for extra measure, I kick you as well
It looks like I’ve won! I’m the hero, revered!
No one seems to see the killer’s body disappeared.
And I got the girl! To me there is no equal!
Schaffer: That’s ok, kid, I’ll just kill you in the sequel!
Track Name: When The World Ends
When the World Ends
Lyrics by Ian Bonds
Music by Ben Stahl and Ian Bonds

I've been trying to think
what I'm gonna do
When the world will end

Maybe I should try
doing all the stuff
That I'll never do again

I'll take all my money from the bank
and buy every kitten from the store
then I'll put 'em all in little tanks
and make 'em fight a little war!

Run through the streets nude!
That's what i wanna do!
No time time to be a prude
When the world ends
When the world ends!

Since this is our
last year on Earth
We should go all out

Take the folks who
really bother you
And punch them in the mouth

Buy a giraffe from the zoo
And ride him everyday to work!
Or maybe ask Motley Crue
to write a song for Captain Kirk!

Shave dirty words in your hair
Spend every day as Cher
Act like you just don't care
When the world ends
When the world ends!

Get together with all your friends at a countdown party on December 21st
We may only get one "Hobbit" movie but at least we'll have seen "The Avengers"!

I can finally
tell my boss exactly
what I think of him

Take a dump
right on his desk while drinking
chocolate milk and gin

Use the corporate limousine
To drive the Las Vegas strip
Then recreate every scene
from "The Hangover" with midgets

It is all up to you
Do the things that you want to
No consequences and no rules
When the world ends

If you decide to go this route
I really hope it all works out
And that the Mayans were right about
When the world ends
When the world ends!
Track Name: Yellow Snow
"Yellow Snow"
Parody of "Purple Rain" by Prince
New lyrics by Ian Bonds

I never wanted to have your "special" desert
It was too cold out side, I'd moan.
But I took it from you, and you were laughing
as I bit into that frozen lemonade snow cone

Yellow Snow, Yellow Snow
Yellow Snow, Yellow Snow
Yellow Snow, Yellow Snow
I only ever saw it when I was spelling my name

You always liked to be a...simple joker
Your itching powder requires cream, hey
Baby, I should have known this joke wasn't mediocre
I could tell it was fresh from the steam

Yellow Snow, Yellow Snow
Yellow Snow, Yellow Snow
Yellow Snow, Yellow Snow
At least I didn't take your offer of that fudgesicle

Honey, I know, I know, I know that you're jealous
Guys can do certain things, it's true, that means me too
You say you want to learn, but you might be at a disadvantage
Well I'll teach you how, you can spell out your name, but you'll need a stencil first

Yellow Snow, Yellow Snow
Yellow Snow, Yellow Snow
If you know what I'm singin' about up here, come on raise your hand
Yellow Snow, Yellow Snow
Only wanna teach you, only wanna teach you to write in the snow.

P.U.! (repeat & fade out)

(c) 2010 Idolize W.A.Y. Recordings/Insane Ian. All rights reserved.