The Sex Training EP

by Insane Ian

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1.
[Spoken] Rise and shine, beautiful. I’ve got a big day planned... Good morning gorgeous Hope you enjoyed the coitus That we shared in my bed, (Yeah!) All. Last. Night. (You know it was awesome) Get up and get dressed (because you’re so very naked) So we can have some breakfast, ‘cause Now it is time for you and me to go compete And then we’ll eat all we can eat I bet I can eat more waffles than you! So that’s what I’m gonna do! Waffles are the most perfect food! And I’ve got a lot to prove! This interlude Seems to have you confused, baby It’s real simple. Y’see WAFFLES RULE (They’re better than pancakes) Each little gap (they kinda look like my abs) Is a butter and syrup trap, so Clear your schedule and hide that hickey Cause it’s time for you and me to get sticky I bet I can eat more waffles than you! So let the contest begin! Waffles are my favorite food! And there’s no way you’ll win! Won't listen to pancake chatter They're like waffles but they're flatter And they both use the same batter But to me that doesn't matter Waffle carbs give staying power Unlike last night I’ll last for hours Eggs, and milk, sugar, flour Builds a tasty Eiffel Tower Add the syrup, melt the butter Sticky-ness makes my heart flutter Get your mind out of the gutter [Spoken] Oh wait, you’ve started? Gotta catch up! One waffle down! Two waffles down! Three...oh god, why’d they have to be Belgian?! I bet I can (gah) waffles than you! Just give me another shot! I can’t believe I’ve only had two! This is tougher than I thought! [Spoken] OH GOD!
2.
Ninja Brian 04:04
Lying in my bed, I hear the floor creak, I think he’s here Hiding in the shadows Confusion as he appears Standing so still Almost a statue Arms full of swords and stuff A Ninja Sometimes I picture him He’s about to stab me in my head “Brian” I say “what’s the deal?” His knife hits The wall instead. Then I start running He’s right behind He explodes me with his mind If you're lost you can look and you will find him Ninja Brian If you fall, he will catch you, he'll be waiting Ninja Brian If you say that he’s fat, well, he will find you Ninja Brian If you want him to stab you, he will be waiting Ninja Brian [Spoken] That’s right, I said he exploded me...with his mind. Brian’s powers are only limited by what we can simulate aurally. If we have an explosion sound effect, that’s clearly what happened. After I contemplate what Brian’s like if He were gay Watching through windows You're wondering if I'm okay Secrets stolen, I have to laugh (haha, haha) He cleaves me clean in half If you're looking for someone to stab some guys Ninja Brian If you fall and tumble like a mannequin Ninja Brian [Spoken] He’s the only ninja I’ve ever seen stab a guy with a different guy. I’m not even sure how that’s physically possible. When I start running, he’s right behind He stabs me a thousand times If you're playing soccer with live hand grenades Ninja Brian If you run, he will stab you, repeatedly Ninja Brian If you're listing ninjas who have STDs Ninja Brian If you fall, he will catch you, he will be waiting Ninja Brian Ninja Brian Ninja Brian Ninja Brian [whispering] Ninja Brian Ninja Brian Ninja Brian Ninja Bri...an

about

A handful of songs paying homage to Ninja Sex Party!

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released January 1, 2021

Vocals by Insane Ian
See individual tracks for other credits

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Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

Insane (adj): shocking, outrageous

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God" - Dr Demento

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show.
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