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When Ian first met Rob Balder (creator of the web-comic "Partially Clips" and creator and writer of "Erfworld"...oh yeah, and one of the co-founders of the FuMP) at Balticon 2008, there was mention of a -- persona -- Rob takes on at con room parties. Soon, he heard tell of the "Legend" of Party Rob...and thus this song was born.
lyrics
“The Legend of PRB” by Ian Bonds
They say Rob Balder is a mighty man
Standin’ 5 foot 10 with a pen in his hand
But he’d never hurt a flea, or a spider.
But to this author of “Partially Clips”
Somethin’ happens when alcohol touches his lips
And he becomes so much more than a web comic writer
Chorus:
Party Rob, Party Rob
The Most Loaded Gun in the West
Party Rob, Party Rob
Ahhh, ahh, Party Rob
When I first met him at Balticon
He didn’t have those fuzzy ears on
And he just seemed so…unassuming
Someone said “room party”, next thing I know
His eyes lit up and his smile did glow
And he revealed a love that one could call "consuming."
Chorus:
Party Rob, Party Rob
He’ll take six Jello Shots to the chest
Party Rob, Party Rob
Ahhh, ahhh, Party Rob
When I finally met Party Rob, y’see
It was just outside of the Twin Cities
After a long 30 hour bus ride
He appeared with a flourish and said with a wink
“Ladies, tighten those corsets, it’s time to drink!”
And he had a whip cream can by his side.
Chorus:
Party Rob, Party Rob
He’ll shoot that cheese whiz off your breast
Party Rob, Party Rob
Ahhh, ahhh, Party Rob
Bridge (Spoken):
They say that ol’ Party Rob moved from con to con, room party to room party. In each one, he’d invent a new drink. From Candy Corn Shots to the Santa's Beard, from the Apple iDrunk to something called a Pie Fight, you’d know he was there by the drunken warbling of JoCo songs and intermittent sounds of aerosol food being dispensed onto bare female flesh. His gang, Captain Morgan, Jack Daniels, and Jose Cuervo ruled the con scene…and were gone by the next night.
Well Party Rob just couldn’t be stopped
And by the time they called for the cops
There wasn’t a full glass in the place
And by the next morning at the end of the con
Rob Balder was back and Party Rob was gone
But he wore the evening’s events on his face
Party Rob, Party Rob
He was hung over by that tree
Party Rob, Party Rob
Ahhh, ahhhh Party Rob
Spoken:
Ian: Rob? You're staggering...
Rob: Well, I realize I'm attractive, but I've rarely been called Staggering...
(c) 2009 Idolize W.A.Y. Recordings/Ian Bonds. All Rights Reserved
credits
from Grand Theft Audio,
released November 30, 2012
Lyrics by Ian Bonds
Music by Ben Stahl
Help by Rob Balder
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