So, on the FuMPcast, Devo Spice will often tease the next song hitting the FuMP, stating who the artist is for Friday's upcoming tune, and also hints at Tuesday's. However, often the artist hasn't posted their song for Tuesday yet, and so he says "Tuesday's song is not yet posted". I swore I would write a song with that title...so I did.
Needlessly meta.
lyrics
(10 seconds of silence)
1)
Things’ve been slow on the FuMP, you see
The schedule’s starting to look empty
So it was up to me to step forward and try
To fill in a slot, ‘cause I’m that kind of guy
I don’t really know why I picked a slot because
I can’t write a song as fast as Tom Smith does
Don’t know what it was, but I had a feeling
That my song concept wasn’t really appealing
So I sat down to write, and I stayed up all night
But it didn’t seem right, it was trite not tight
The lyrics were alright but the beat was weak
Have I really peaked? There’s just no mystique
So I tossed it aside, and I started again
Grabbed my paper and pen to write some lyrics when
I suddenly passed out from lack of sleep
And I woke up again the following week
(Chorus)
Tuesday’s song is not yet posted
There seems to have been a delay
There’s a gap in your music schedule
‘Cause it’s Tuesday, ‘cause it’s Tuesday
2)
I woke up in horror, did I really do this?
(Man, something tells me Devo Spice’ll be pissed)
How could I miss getting my song done in time?
Well, the fault is all mine, think I’ll just go online
And check the site to see if someone filled in for me
Oh, how could this be? This is a tragedy!
There’s a blank space where my song should be!
First in history for eff you em pee!
Check my email, but there’s no discussion
No one’s freaking out, Tom Smith didn’t rush in
To try and whip up a fast song to fill in
No song from Steve Goodie ‘bout how Trump is a villain
No long lost gem from Ookla the Mok
Nor Nuclear Bubble Wrap and their psychedelic rock
No Lemon Demon? Well, this comes at a shock!
Did every FuMP artist just get writer’s block?
Chorus
This song is needlessly meta
This song is needlessly meta
This song is needlessly meta
Needlessly meta, needlessly meta
3)
I thought it was strange as I closed my laptop
Then suddenly I heard a loud “pop”
It started raining Frogs right down on my head
As I Noticed I was hit with a feeling of dread
So I ran outside, I knew this couldn’t be good
‘Cause I saw the number twelve take a dump in the woods
Off in the distance I could see Spam for miles
And I was hit with an overwhelming fondness for Kyle
Everything’s gone mad! Couldn’t believe my corneas
When I saw a frying pan fight the whole state of Florida!
What does this mean? There’s no reason or rhyme!
Did my lack of a song rip a hole in space and time?
I just gotta make this right! How can I fix this?
So I threw this song together and asked Devo to mix this
But it was too late, the world around me just broke up
And that’s when, at last, I finally woke up.
(Spoken)
Oh man. What a weird dream. Huh. That might make a good song actually. Well, if nothing else...it’ll fill an open slot in the schedule.
credits
from Yet Another B-Side Collection,
track released January 16, 2018
Tuesday’s Song (Is Not Yet Posted)
Music & Lyrics by Ian Bonds
Mixing and Mastering by Tom Rockwell
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