The Way You Talk

from by Insane Ian

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about

I always enjoy songs about language, and one of my favorites was this track by Schaffer the Darklord, from his "Mark of the Beast" album. I reference this song in my skit "Bow(wow) To Your DogLord" with Schaffer on my album "Internet Famous", because I too have a song about language on an album that features a song about domesticated pets.

lyrics

[Spoken]
Hey, what's the haps?
I don't know
I know, right?
What?
It's just like, you know what I mean?
No, I don't
Oh my God, you don't even know!
You're right
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!
Uh... ok?
That's it - end of story
Great. Bye!
Hey man, what's your problem?
What's my problem?

[Chorus]
I don't like the way that you're talkin' to me
But I don't really mind what you're sayin'
My back will be turned to the words that you speak
Until you find a way to properly convey 'em

I don't like the way that you're talkin' to me
But I don't really mind what you're sayin'
Back turned to the words that you speak
Until you find a way to properly convey 'em

[verse]
People! (people!) The way that you talk
Is often so very embarrassing it's time that it stopped!
Our generation sounds like a bunch of dumb kids
Who grew up, but still talk like a bunch of dumb kids
It's time to reunite It's due time that we fight
Deterioration of our communication tonight
I call upon us all to stand tall in our hearts
And stop talking like morons, here's where we start
When typing email please be aware
That there are three different forms of the word pronounced "there"
And if you dare misuse one in a letter beware
I will delete you from my friends list like I just don't care
The first is spelled T-H-E-Y apostrophe R-E
It's a contraction of the noun "they" and the verb "are", you see?
T-H-E-I-R is a possessive pronoun when
You want to say that they posses it, or it belongs to them
And T-H-E-R-E is an adverb with direction
Which often times is used to modify a preposition
With practice you can learn to use all three in a sentence
For example: "They're in there with their bear." - there, I said it
The thing (huh?) I hate most (huh?) that gets me (huh?) so pissed (huh?)
Are people (huh?), adults (huh?), who talk (huh?) like this (huh?)
Like everything's (huh?) a question (huh?), with such( huh?) indecision (huh?)
You sound like a little kid, speak with some conviction!
And speaking of questions, you needn't announce one
By stating the word first before you pop out one
Cause when you say "Question: What is the story?"
I'll reply, "Answer: That is annoying."
And like please don't like overuse the word like
Unless you're like planin' like talkin' 'bout your new bike
"like" is an adverb, it's used to compare things
Like when you say "like" so much, you sound like a prom queen
You know what I mean, you know - you know what I mean?
UGH! Stop asking me that, I'll stop and ask if need be!
And please don't reply with "that's what I'm talkin' 'bout"
When I'm talking cause actually, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout
Please refrain from typing messages in all caps
Please cease abbreviating happening to haps
Stop with the fake words, like 'guestimates' and 'factoids'
And never use more than one exclamation point!
Enough with the quote fingers - I get it - the tone
Of your voice and your choice of expression alone
Should suffice to imply that you're being sarcastic
You're only slowing down a boring story with a hand trick
And you've gotta STOP using the word gay
The way you describe a dislike, like when you say
"That's such a gay car, this song is so gay"
Are you in middle school you little fool, act your age, ok?
Enunciate, articulate, and say what you mean
And speak up so I can hear you but you don't need to scream
Don't talk with your mouth full and don't interrupt me
And if you say end of story, then I will leave abruptly
All of these lazy and unnecessary phrases
Make us seem so very dated almost as we're half our ages
Try and make a change and maybe then in the end
We can be friends, but until then:

[Chorus]
I don't like the way that you're talkin' to me
But I don't really mind what you're sayin'
My back will be turned to the words that you speak
Until you find a way to properly convey 'em

I don't like the way that you're talkin' to me
But I don't really mind what you're sayin'
Back turned to the words that you speak
Until you find a way to properly convey 'em

credits

from Under The Influences, track released March 24, 2017
Originally by Schaffer the Darklord (written by Mark Schaffer, beat loops by Coolzey)
Music recreated and performed by Ben Stahl (slightly sampling Coolzey's beats)
Vocals performed by Insane Ian
Mixed by Bonecage

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Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God..." - Dr Demento (The Dr Demento Show)

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show.
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