written by Austin Aeschliman.
A style parody of the Radio Adventures of Dr. Floyd featuring some awesome guest star-age.
lyrics
The Misadventures of Dave
Script by Austin Aeschliman
Dave- Austin Aeschliman
Johnny- Patrick White
Narrator- Grant Baciocco
Chief- Devo Spice
Badguyman- Insane Ian
Montage vocals- Dino-Mike
Introduction- TV's Kyle
Intro Talking Guy: It’s time for everyone’s favorite shh---, well it’s what you listen to when nothing good is on TV. The Misadventures of Dave, brought to you by SmashyClaw.com
ACT I: The Part Where It Begins and the Audience is Introduced to the Characters Maybe
Narrator: This is the story of a guy, a guy named Dave, yep just Dave. A lazy everyday American who is often found sitting on his couch in his underwear eating cheap potato chips and playing Pong. One day Dave got off of his couch to get some snacks, as he walked down the street people passing by stared in absolute ah of the bed sours that covered him, almost like those freaks that get there entire body tattooed, yeah them. While he was walking near a hospital his foot became stuck to the sidewalk due to gum left there by a common jerk, as he struggled with getting free, senile Betty Sue who was staying in the top floor of the hospital because she got clawed severely when trying to put her cat in the oven, decided it was a grand idea to randomly throw a bed pan out the window. The bed pan full of an unidentified liquid fell from the sky. Dave looked up from his stuck shoe and the bed pan hit him straight in the forehead and (Insert Scientific Reason Here) he suddenly gained an extremely powerful sense of smell, random moments of amnesia, and now he can fly… wait he can fly? That doesn't seem right, how does that relate to getting hit in the head? Oh well, giant plot holes are the writers problem not the narrator's. Anyway as things go Dave decided for some personal reason to fight crime with these powers and even gained a sidekick, a fifteen year old very nerdy, pail white, nine fingered boy with no super power whatsoever. We'll call him Johnny. Let's watch them now as they sit on the couch.
Dave: Look at those pedals fly!
Johnny: Oh, you are so going down!
Dave: How are you gonna beat me at Pong? You don’t have half your fingers!
Johnny: But I'm only missing one
Dave: Either way, advantage: Dave.
Narrator: Just then Dave suddenly forgot what was going on due to the amnesia I was describing earlier.
Dave: Um, uh, what were we talking about, something about soup?
Johnny: We were talking about… how you were gonna give me fifty dollars.
Dave: Really? Hey, wait! You’re utilizing my amnestic condition in order to unjustly procure funds. Luckily, my wits were about me and I saw through your devious plot to deplete me of my currency. I have half the mind to throw you in a vat of boiling chocolate!
Johnny: Oh, you keep saying that but I haven't seen it happen yet. (Phone rings.)
Dave: Hello?
Chief: Hey Dave, it's the chief of police again, I've got a crime that actually could use your pathetic super powers.
Dave: Does it pay anything?
Chief: Um… uh, okay, how about the next time you a steal an Atari cartridge from the video store, we won't bring you to jail. I mean you can get one on eBay for like two dollars.
Dave: I know but I keep spending all my money on food items with the face of famous religious figures on them.
Chief: Alright, alright, how about I give you… um… an X-Box 360
Narrator: And just then Dave's eyes started to water and a chorus of angels started doing that high pitched harmony you always hear, you know that thing that kind of sounds like the sound at the beginning of The Simpsons Theme? Sound. That's it.
Dave: Alright, I'll do it.
Narrator: Then Dave went over to the Atari console and chucked it out the window
Johnny: What do you think you're doing!
Dave: Dude, I’m on speaker phone. Didn’t you hear? 360?
Chief: Only if you complete the mission!
Dave: But, uh, work is stupid.
ACT II: There’s a Bad Guy Man Named Badguyman and He Progresses the Plot
Narrator: The chief told Dave the mission; word went around that a bad guy by the name of Badguyman was planning to destroy the planet by planting the vilest stink bombs ever devised all across the globe, because Dave could smell so well maybe he could find these bombs in a mission the government titled "Find The Frenchman's Armpit".
Johnny: What are you smelling, Dave?
Dave: {Sniffing.) Ah, the usual putrid odor of this town. (Phone rings.) We’re getting a lot of calls for this being an unlisted superheroy number. Hello?
Badguyman: Hello, Dave. It's Badguyman; I hear you're trying to stop my evil doings. Well, quit it!
Dave: No, I’m going to find you!
Badguyman: Are not!
Dave: Uh, are too.
Badguyman: Are not!
Dave: Are too!
Badguyman: Are not to infinity!
Dave: Are too to infinity, plus one!
Badguyman: Oh, blast it all! I just wanted to destroy the world with no hassle for no apparent reason to anyone else but me, perhaps if someone just bothered to ask maybe they'd find out I had a bad childhood and all I really needed was to be loved… or something like that.
Dave: Alright. I’m going to get you, Bad Guy Man!
Badguyman: That's Mr. Badguyman to you, sir, and don't bother trying to find me cause I'm watching this show I've been wanting to see forever.
Dave: Oh, what is it?
Badguyman: What do you care? The point is: do not come to 305 East Potato Street and disturb me!
Dave: Really? How did you get this number?
Badguyman: That's for me and my friend at the phone company to know and for you to never find out!
Dave: So, it was your friend at the phone company?
Badguyman: What?! How did you know that? Oh!
Dave: Come now, Johnny! On we go to 305 East Potato Street to catch that bad guy… man.
Johnny: Let's just blatantly procrastinate and do a montage of us to a really bad song that has nothing to do with the show, though no one listening to this will understand what the montage is about because this is audio, not video.
Dave: Alright. (Montage). Wow, that montage sure was random! My favorite part is when I fought the dragon and saved Europe. Anyway, let’s get that villainy guy.
Act III: An Assortment of Other Dumb Things Happen and the Story Ends Unsatisfyingly
Narrator: Now Dave and Johnny are at the house surprisingly knocking on the door very politely like. (Knocking noise.)
Badguyman: Hello…. Dave! I told you not to interrupt me while I was watching Days of Our Li… I mean football….
Narrator: An insanely slender snow colored man stands in the doorway in pink pajamas
Dave: You’re weird looking.
Narrator: Just then Badguyman pulled out a jar with a very wet sock inside.
Dave: What's that?
Badguyman: This, Dave, is a normal cotton sock, drenched in eight gallons of Rosie O Donnell's horrible disgusting SWEAT.
Dave: No, no, NO! Wait, how did you get the sweat?
Narrator: Then Badguyman broke the jar on the ground and the stench went to Dave's nose, you see for a normal person this intense odor would merely make them vomit for several hours in disgust, but for a person with heightened smelling powers like Dave it is quite deadly.
Dave: Help me Johnny!
Johnny: Well, what do you want from me, man? I'm a sidekick; I'm just kind of here for teenage appeal, I never actually do anything significant.
Dave: Oh right, I forgot… I'm dying!
Narrator: Oh, this is ridiculous, I know I'm the narrator and I'm not supposed to interact with the characters but Dave you stupid, stupid idiot why don't you just fly away!
Dave: Why didn’t I think of that… it is pretty obvious. (Flying away noise.)
Narrator: Then Dave flew away into the sky; will he ever stop Badguyman? Can you believe this is going to end with another cliché radio cliffhanger ending? Find out on the next moderately exiting episode of The Misadventures of Dave! Attention: This show has been cancelled do to lack of interest, coming up next: Dancing with Bears!
Script copyright 2009, Austin Aeschliman
credits
from Songs For Superheroes,
released October 27, 2012
The Misadventures of Dave
Script by Austin Aeschliman
Dave- Austin Aeschliman
Johnny- Patrick White
Narrator- Grant Baciocco (of Throwing Toasters and Dr. Floyd)
Chief- Tom Rockwell (aka Devo Spice)
Badguyman- Ian Bonds (aka Insane Ian)
Montage vocals- Mike Cisernos (aka Dino-Mike)
Introduction- Kyle A. Carrozza (aka TV's Kyle)
Scooter Picnic is TV's Kyle & Insane Ian doing a nerdcore thing. Featuring the 14 1/2 tracks they did during 2012's February Album Writing Month (FAWM) plus more! 26 tracks total! Insane Ian
"Twenty Six and a Half: A Tribute to 'Weird Al' Yankovic", features 20 tracks from artists such as MC Frontalot, Shael Riley, the great Luke Ski, MC Lars, Marc with a C, Devo Spice and Insane Ian! Insane Ian
supported by 14 fans who also own “The Misadventures of Dave - by Austin Aeschliman featuring Patrick White, Grant Baciocco, Insane Ian, Devo Spice, Dino-Mike, and TV's Kyle”
Technically my favorite track is "You Don't Know Jack (Plan B)", because it's just a great reimagining (Some Jerk with a Camera is now officially a reimagineer).
But a lot of the album is good, and the "Luke Ski Phase 2" stuff is also good, but different. Erin A Cobb
supported by 14 fans who also own “The Misadventures of Dave - by Austin Aeschliman featuring Patrick White, Grant Baciocco, Insane Ian, Devo Spice, Dino-Mike, and TV's Kyle”
This describes the American dream pretty well! Lawrence Lang
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans. Bandcamp New & Notable May 29, 2020
