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Roy Smith feat. Insane Ian - Sense of Smell

from Yet Another B​-​Side Collection by Insane Ian

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A collaborative track from FAWM (February Album Writing Month) 2017. There was a weekly challenge about "smells", so II wrote this spoken word piece, that Roy added to and did the music for. It came out pretty trippy and cool.

lyrics

My sense of smell isn’t very good. Things have to have a really strong scent for me to even notice them.
And usually, I think they smell bad.
My ex, she used to work at Bath and Body Works, and would always bring home lotions and candles and stuff like that.
She would get so many free samples, our linen closet looked like she robbed the place.
I mean, she didn’t, but man…it looked like the spoils of the most moisturized thievery.
Regardless…she would always hold up a lotion or a candle to my face and ask:
“How does this smell?”
And I would either sniff it and get no scent at all, or immediately recoil from the strong aroma.
There was no middle ground. No “this smells ok”.
Either it was: “nope, don’t smell a thing”, or: “get that horrible funk away from my nose”.
If I were to ever open the door to that closet, I’d get kicked in the olfactory senses and knocked with an immediate headache.
I hadn’t always had such a strong aversion to scents, but lately it’s getting harder and harder to smell things unless the scent is very strong.
Dead skunks always creep into my nostrils, but I can never tell if my milk is spoiled unless it’s REALLY old.
God help me if there’s ever a gas leak in my home, or a fire.

The other day I was out walking my dog, and I saw this guy trying to fix his car. He had blue overalls and seriously unusual hair. He kept looking under the hood then rushing around to the back and sticking his head up to the exhaust pipe, muttering to himself something about fish. I didn't really have anywhere to be, so went over full of altruistic self love and offered to help any way I could, if I could. He looked me up and down and -- deciding I was better than nothing -- thrust a cloth rag under my nose and said 'Sniff.' Well, it hadn't been quite what I was expecting, but not wanting to judge a book by it’s cover and figuring my sense of smell would at least be able to detect chloroform, I took a deep breath and was amazed to find the scent of flowers in a summer breeze pulled deep into my lungs. As his wild eyes demanded an answer, screwed up and red with an apparent lack of sleep, I realised he had been inhaling something quite different.

I remember smelling the Christmas cookies my mom was baking one year.
Whenever I catch that aroma, I get transported back to that Christmas day when I was playing the Ten Pin Alley demo on my new Playstation…
And cramming cookies into my face between frames.
I guess it’s not always bad scents I catch. I also catch strong food smells: barbecue, cookies, brownies, pies…
Thank goodness I can’t gain weight that way, otherwise I’d be fat just from sniffing around the kitchen.

Could you imagine that? Gaining weigh by SMELLING something? Or lose weight if you smelled something that offended your nose?
Yeah, best to NOT imagine that, on second thought. Don't want to picture HOW you'd lose the weight from a bad smell.

credits

from Yet Another B​-​Side Collection, track released February 28, 2017
Lyrics: Insane Ian and Roy Smith
Music; Roy Smith

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Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

Insane (adj): shocking, outrageous

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God" - Dr Demento

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show.
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