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Potionmaker

from weezard by Insane Ian

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about

Parody of "Troublemaker" by Weezer
About Harry's potion book from The Half Blood Prince

lyrics

Put me in a magic school
'Cause that would be real cool
And I will use a single book
of potions that you teach

Who is the Half Blood Prince?
Hermione's not convinced
That this is the kind of book
That I should even keep

But I keep it by me
Won't let the others see
The potions that I learn are
always quite helpful to me

What's this here on page three?
Oh let me keep it, please
Sectumsempra's an attack
to jack up all your enemies

I'm a potionmaker
Not a potion faker
If I were to do that
It always would screw up

I'm a potionmaker
Not a trouble maker
I don't have the patience
To be the chosen one

I picked up this text book
The first lesson I try
I'm gonna make a draught of this, you'll sniff it
And you'll die

You wanted Living Death
How's this for Living Death?
That's right

I'm growing back my bones
Thanks to a jar of Skele-grow
It's tastes so very gross
and growing bones is really slow

To do it kind of hurts
The bones, they grow in spurts
But Lockhart's really not smart
And his spell, it made it worse

Believe me, ask the nurse
I feel like I am cursed
But thanks to all these potions
Now my troubled luck's reversed

I'm a potionmaker
Pour the girls a shaker
Of Amortentia
Will make them fall in love

I'm a potionmaker
And a potion taker
Tolerance of truth potion
Training can be rough

I'm gonna learn them all
And people will crane necks
To get a glimpse of me
And what potion I'm brewing next

And Slughorn will love me
I am the teacher's pet
Won't use Veritaserum
for the answers that I get

I'm such a mystery
As anyone can see
But take some Polyjuice
and everyone looks just like me

And when it's Quidditch time
Though potions are a crime
I'll give you a placebo
'cause I'm such a crafty guy

I'm a potionmaker
Not a potion baker
You can't bake a potion
You brew it up, you schmuck

I'm a potionmaker
Fighting a Death Eater
I don't have the patience
To be the chosen
(Be the chosen one)

I'm a potionmaker
(Be the chosen one)
I'm a potionmaker
(Be the chosen one)

I'm a potionmaker
(Be the chosen one)
I'm a potionmaker
I'll drink the Liquid Luck

credits

from weezard, released November 11, 2011
Parody of "Troublemaker" by Weezer (Rivers Cuomo)
New lyrics by Ian Bonds
Music & backing vocals performed by Ben Stahl

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Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

Insane (adj): shocking, outrageous

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God" - Dr Demento

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show.
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