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Ping Pong

from 7 from '15 by Insane Ian

/

about

As a nerd, I'm not the most athletic person on the planet. That said, I do occasionally engage in sport. And while this particular game may not be the most strenuous or taxing of physical activities, it is not without its skill or merit, despite most viewing it as a scaled down version of another, more active sport.

This may not be the first song on the subject, but it is the first to use the subject as the source of a parody of "Bang Bang" by Jessie J featuring Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj. (Trust me. I checked. All the other parodies of this song are about...well, other things.)

lyrics

[Verse 1 ]
I need a sport that is just like Tennis, but I don't wanna play a game outside
See my athleticism is a mess but I don't give a damn about my pride (oh)
(You've been waiting for that, stop, hold up, swing your bat)
Not just any indoor sport will do,
I need a paddle to blow my mind, yeah

[Chorus]
Ping pong, build up your nerve (I know you want it)
Ping pong, you just got served (I'll let you have it)
Wait a minute let me change my grip (ah)
Wait a minute 'til ya (ah)
Ping pong, watch the back spin (I know you want it)
Ping pong, that ball was in! (I'll let you have it)
Wait a minute that last point was mine (ah)
Wait a minute 'til ya (ah)

[Verse 2 ]
I mighta let you think that you're the best, but Imma show you I've got all the skills
See I have studied all of your techniques and I now I'll move right in for the kill (oh, yeah)
(You tend to lean in [shhhh], when you wanna use topspin)
Not anybody can be good as me,
You need to work on your lob and chop

[Chorus]
Ping pong, I'll make you choke (Your score's in trouble)
Ping pong, defensive stroke (Should we play doubles?)
Wait a minute, you don't think that's fair? (ah)
Wait a minute 'til ya (ah)
Ping pong, you're just a chump (You need a full team)
Ping pong, and I'm Forrest Gump (To play against me)
Wait a minute, hit a double bounce (ah)
Wait a minute 'til ya (ah)

[Rap break]
(You know what, man?
Let me show you how I do.)
It's triple tricky
So don't get picky
I'll beat you quickly
It's Ping Pong
This won't be pretty
You'll never hit me
I'll smash your city
Like King Kong
Beat you so good
Paddle blade of wood
But the rubber does what it should, So
Willing and able, hit
Ping pong table kit
Can't even label it, Fable writ
My favorite movie
Is just "Balls of Fury"
Use Pythagoras's theory
To pull off this slick manuevery
I'm so dazzlin', you're scramblin'
We battlin', net straddlin'
The net ain't regulation height so we gon' fight, that's a paddlin' (uh)

P to the I to the N to the G to the uh (pi-pi-pi-pi-ping pong!)
P to the O to the N to the G to the hey

Not anybody could be good at this,
You need to practice to take me out (me out)

[Chorus]
Ping pong off of the walls (So let's do battle)
Ping pong This game takes balls (with balls and paddles)
Wait a minute let me beat you twice (ah)
Wait a minute 'til ya (ah)
Ping pong adjust my grip (You know I'll beat ya)
Ping pong reversed is "Gnop Gnip" (I'm a ping pong creature)
Wait a minute let me take match point (ah)
Wait a minute 'til ya (ah)

[Outro ]
Ping pong court is so small (You will be sorry)
Ping pong net ain't that tall (Return that volley)

Yo, I said
Ping, pong
Like I'm King Kong
Ping, ping, pong
Ping, p-p-ong, pong

Ping pong you'll be sorry (I know you want it)
Even pong on Atari (I'll beat your ass in)
Wait a minute, let you win I swear (ah)
Wait a minute, I'll let ya (ah)

credits

from 7 from '15, track released March 17, 2015
Ping Pong
Parody of Bang Bang by Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nikki Minaj
New lyrics by Ian Bonds
Music performed by Ben Stahl
Vocals performed by Insane Ian

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Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

Insane (adj): shocking, outrageous

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God" - Dr Demento

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show. ... more

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