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Dungeon Castlevania

from Illinoise by Insane Ian

supported by
Scott Johnson
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Scott Johnson I heard it at fump fest so happy to have it In my collection now great job Ian. Love it. Silent hill or afraid of the dark would be good ones also. Favorite track: Dungeon Castlevania.
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about

Just in time for Halloween (and a month after the game's 35th Anniversary) I proudly present to you the full version of "Dungeon Castlevania". Originally heard in snippet form in the very first Epic Video Game Medley way back in 2010, this time featuring an incredible chiptune-infused backing track by Professor Shyguy!

lyrics

Transylvanian highway, bats fly through the air
I think I see a zombie rising up over there
Up ahead in the distance, a castle just appeared
I hear the howling of a werewolf now
This just keeps getting weird
They say that’s where they took her
After our Wedding Bells
And I was thinking to myself
"I could be walking straight into Hell"
Then I whipped out a candle, bag of coins just fell out
Didn’t think this could get much stranger
Then the mermen shout

Welcome to this Castle, Castlevania
It’s spectacula (Spectacular)
Home of Dracula
Plenty of room in the Dungeon, Castlevania
Just stay for the night (Just stay for the night)
Or perhaps a bite

His mind is totally twisted, and his best friend is Death (unh)
He got a lot of ugly, ugly guards, with real bad breath
How they float through the courtyard, sweet, now I’m dead
That’s not what I meant by “wanting a little head”

So I broke open wall bricks
Roast chicken inside
I said, "This tastes like it’s been sitting here since fourteen sixty nine"
And still I don’t see how this could be much worse
Now it’s dark, What a horrible night
Just to have a curse

Welcome to the Castle, Castlevania
Let me crouch here (I can crouch here)
A whirlwind appears
They livin' it up in the town by Castlevania
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
The townspeople lie!

Now I’m on the ceiling
The whole castle has flipped
(And now I) have to go through all this again, just to get to his crypt
And in the master's chambers
I gathered his body parts
I’d burn them to reverse the curse
But I just don’t have the heart

Last thing I remember
He asked me “What is a Man?”
Threw his goblet as he called me names, so I kicked his butt and ran
"Sure," said the ferryman
"I’ll take you to a good place
But Drac will be back every couple years.
This plot you will retrace!”

credits

from Illinoise, track released October 29, 2021
Parody of "Hotel California" by the Eagles (Glenn Lewis Frey, Don Felder)
New lyrics written & performed by Insane Ian
Music performed by Professor Shyguy
Mixing, mastering, backing vocals, and cymbal crashes by Ben Stahl
Contains elements of "Bloody Tears" by Kenichi Matsubara from Castlevania II: Simon's Quest, "Wicked Child" by Kinuyo Yamashita from Castlevania, and "Marble Gallery" by Michiru Yamane from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.

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Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

Insane (adj): shocking, outrageous

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God" - Dr Demento

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show.
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