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Delivery Boy

from Illinoise by Insane Ian

supported by
jcollie719
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Scott Johnson
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Ethan Krupp
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Angela Brett
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Fortec
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briansebby
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/

about

Stuck in your house due to a global pandemic?

Don't want to leave, but really craving a buttload of burritos from Taco Bell?

Then pick up your phone and use one of the dozens of food delivery apps to have someone else bring it to you!

I've been driving for one of them for the past year, which ultimately has made me feel a bit like Fry from Futurama. So...I made a song about it!

lyrics

Start it up, ‘cause I’ve got a job to do
My day begins at a quarter to the crack of noon
And then soon I’ll bring you all sorts of stuff to chew
Never thought I’d have this kinda job at 42
Work where? Well I don’t wanna be rude
Drop the name of my job and I might be sued
But to be fair I guess I’ll spare you a simple name clue:
The German word for “Over”, and what you do to food
Anyway, that’s to say the name is weirdly kinda true
But it doesn’t matter ‘cause this platter is just for you
Order on the app, take a nap, it’ll arrive soon
You could go yourself instead *I’m* waiting in the drive thru
Finish up then I’ll bring these treats to you
Rack of ribs or a sausage pizza too
Then I’m out, more deliveries I gotta do
No scenarios ‘cause this is not a porn shoot

Chorus:
Delivering all these flows on the beat
Just so I can bring you all you can eat
When you see me zooming down to your street
You know I’m delivering something savory or sweet
Order up all the food you enjoy
Foot long subs or a tub of bok-choy
Bringing it to you if you’re in Illinois
It’s my job I’M A DELIVERY BOY

For your order, I’m a jedi master
No one else will ever bring it to you faster
Brought it to your door, please be sure to tip me after
I’m the one who drove 20 minutes for your pasta
Speaking of, take a minute, think this over
Why order ice cream any month after October?
I don’t really mind the time to be your meal’s chauffeur
But it wouldn’t melt if came from somewhere closer
In the mood for some food that’s so delicious?
Don’t want to cook yourself or have to do the dishes?
Baby I can bring it no matter what your wish is
Just so long as you remember to update your address
I’m serious, I’m not being rhetorical
‘Cause when I’m walking with your meal down through your corridor
To your apartment delivering your order ya
Call me minutes later just to say that you’re in Florida

Chorus:
Delivering all these flows on the beat
Just so I can bring you all you can eat
When you see me zooming down to your street
You know I’m delivering something savory or sweet
Order up all the food you enjoy
Foot long subs or a tub of bok-choy
Bringing it to you if you’re in Illinois
It’s my job I’M A DELIVERY BOY

That’s not to say this job is super easy
That the whole rigmarole is so light and breezy
Sometimes it leaves me feeling kinda queasy
And not just because all the food is really greazy
Like when I’m tryin to locate your address
And the GPS has got me stressed
Goin’ south on North St., then East St. headin West
Sayin’ “make a u-turn” when I should just turn left!
Inanimate object got me feelin’ so hostile
I gotta say it drives me crazy something awful
I wish it had a neck so I could strangle it and throttle
When it mispronounces Chipotle as ‘Chi-pottle’
Nevermind all the time I’m spendin’ in my whip
Havin’ to backtrack ‘cause they didn’t give me your chips
So I get back in my car and I take another trip
Just to get your whole meal while you give half a tip.

Chorus:
Delivering all these flows on the beat
Just so I can bring you all you can eat
When you see me zooming down to your street
You know I’m delivering something savory or sweet
Order up all the food you enjoy
Foot long subs or a tub of bok-choy
Bringing it to you if you’re in Illinois
It’s my job I’M A DELIVERY BOY

credits

from Illinoise, track released April 2, 2021
Lyrics by Insane Ian.
Beat by Mozart von Robot (based on the theme to Futurama, which itself is based on “Psyché Rock” by Pierre Henry).
Mixing and mastering by Ben Stahl.

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Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

Insane (adj): shocking, outrageous

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God" - Dr Demento

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show. ... more

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