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Crabbe and Goyle

from weezard by Insane Ian

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Parody of "Pork and Beans" by Weezer
A song from the perspective of Draco Malfoy

lyrics

They say I need some minions
To help me fight
Gonna teach those mudblood scum
To fear me every night
Slytherin is the house
That rules the school
It's just too bad the kids think
That I'm a tool

I'mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain't got a thing
To prove to you
I'll terrorize you
With Crabbe and Goyle
Potter's good times
That is what I'll spoil
I ain't gonna do
what you expect
Your Quidditch game
I plan to wreck
I always sneer
like I smelled a fart
Don't step to me
You don't wanna start

Muggle-borns like to dance
To a happy song
(Mud, Blood)
But I don't think they should learn magic
To me that seems wrong
(Mud, Blood)
Severus knows the way
To teach Defense of Dark Arts
But instead he's stuck with potions
Until the killing starts

I'mma do the things
That I wanna do
Today's the day
That you will rue!
I'll beat you down
With Crabbe and Goyle
But all my plans
Harry seems to foil
I'll go and fix the
Vanishing Cabinet
So inside Hogwarts
The Death Eaters will get
I always look
like something stinks
I don't give a crap
About what you think

No I don't care
I don't care

I'mma do the things
The Dark Lord wants me to do
Oh, Dumbeldore
I'm coming for you
I'll attack Harry
With Crabbe and Goyle
Though Crabbe will die
In the fire, he'll broil
I ain't gonna do
The things you expect
I'll just wuss out
Oh what the heck
I'll never understand
And I see what you think
I always look like
Muggles stink!

credits

from weezard, released November 11, 2011
Parody of "Pork and Beans" by Weezer (Rivers Cuomo)
New lyrics by Ian Bonds
Music performed by Ben Stahl

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Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

Insane (adj): shocking, outrageous

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God" - Dr Demento

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show.
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