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Alphabetically Yours

from D​.​A​.​M​.​N. by Insane Ian

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about

Zach is a zero. He's a science fiction writer who can't seem to get anything published anymore, and was just dumped by his girlfriend right as his most recent manuscript was rejected.

So as if I don't have enough things to do, I've decided to write a rock opera about a struggling writer who falls in love with his creation. While the whole thing is a good ways off, this is the opening song and title track of the entire piece. I hope you all enjoy it.

lyrics

1)
Rejected Again
First my publisher, then my girlfriend
When will this end?
Been on this cycle since 2010

I can't tell which is worse, bein' single or bein' broke?
My life's a joke.

So uninspired.
It's hard to write when from life you're fired
Oh God, I'm tired
Do I want success or to be desired?

I dunno who wrote the Book of Love, but I wish I had the publishing rights
Why can't I write?

(Chorus 1)
Oh God, what's in store for me?
What will be Zach's life story?
Am I destined to be
Alphabetically
Yours?

Can't I just cling desperately
To being young and so horny
Just spell it out for me
Alphabetically
Yours

2)
A is for the way
I'm Amazed I can't think of what to say
B is for the block
I'm experiencing, but that's really no shock

And we know that C, D, E means I Can't Do Enough
Oh man it's rough (F this)

I need a G
Not just Glory, but G as in a ton of money
Oh what the H-
E-double hockey sticks, I need a Honey, too!

I can't seem to concentrate, need to make up my mind: write or go on a date
How cruel is fate?

(Chorus 2)
Oh God, what's in store for me?
What will be my life's story
Am I destined to be
Alphabetically
Yours?

Will I just pathetically
Repeat ancient history?
This always happens to me
Alphabetically
Yours

(Bridge)
Since the dawn of time
My fate was never mine
My significant others dictated
How I lived but now I'm liberated

From Alyson, Britney, Cassie, Danielle,
Emily, Faith, and Ginger as well
Heather, Iris, Jasmie, and Kristin
Linda, Michelle, Nicole's always bitchin'
Olivia, Phoebe, Rachel, Samantha,
Shannon and Stacey, Siobahn and then Sandra,
Sara, Stephanie, Sabrina, and Sharon and
Sofia and...geez, that's a lot of S's.
I dated my way through the whole alphabet
It's about time my name came first in the set!

(Chorus 3)
I know what's in store for me
I'll rewrite my love story
I know I'm destined to be
Alphabetically
Yours

I control my destiny
Don't need no one cause I've got me!
It's time the letter Z
was
Alphabetically
Alphabetically

I control my destiny
I'll rewrite my love story
It's time the letter Z
was
Alphabetically
Yours

credits

from D​.​A​.​M​.​N., track released February 12, 2016
"Alphabetically Yours"
Opening song and title of the (possibly) forthcoming comedy rock opera
lyrics by Ian Bonds
music by Ben Stahl

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Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

Insane (adj): shocking, outrageous

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God" - Dr Demento

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show. ... more

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