Get all 45 Insane Ian releases available on Bandcamp and save 70%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Bioshock EP, Bidet, We Didn't Name The Flier - A Game Grumps/Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom Parody, Get A Clue, Smarm-Proof Lobster Cabinet, Mr. Yuletide (and other Holiday "Hits"), Rap Game Susan Lucci, Illinoise in Illinois (Live at FuMPFeST 2021), and 37 more.
1. |
Ping Pong
03:22
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[Verse 1 ]
I need a sport that is just like Tennis, but I don't wanna play a game outside
See my athleticism is a mess but I don't give a damn about my pride (oh)
(You've been waiting for that, stop, hold up, swing your bat)
Not just any indoor sport will do,
I need a paddle to blow my mind, yeah
[Chorus]
Ping pong, build up your nerve (I know you want it)
Ping pong, you just got served (I'll let you have it)
Wait a minute let me change my grip (ah)
Wait a minute 'til ya (ah)
Ping pong, watch the back spin (I know you want it)
Ping pong, that ball was in! (I'll let you have it)
Wait a minute that last point was mine (ah)
Wait a minute 'til ya (ah)
[Verse 2 ]
I mighta let you think that you're the best, but Imma show you I've got all the skills
See I have studied all of your techniques and I now I'll move right in for the kill (oh, yeah)
(You tend to lean in [shhhh], when you wanna use topspin)
Not anybody can be good as me,
You need to work on your lob and chop
[Chorus]
Ping pong, I'll make you choke (Your score's in trouble)
Ping pong, defensive stroke (Should we play doubles?)
Wait a minute, you don't think that's fair? (ah)
Wait a minute 'til ya (ah)
Ping pong, you're just a chump (You need a full team)
Ping pong, and I'm Forrest Gump (To play against me)
Wait a minute, hit a double bounce (ah)
Wait a minute 'til ya (ah)
[Rap break]
(You know what, man?
Let me show you how I do.)
It's triple tricky
So don't get picky
I'll beat you quickly
It's Ping Pong
This won't be pretty
You'll never hit me
I'll smash your city
Like King Kong
Beat you so good
Paddle blade of wood
But the rubber does what it should, So
Willing and able, hit
Ping pong table kit
Can't even label it, Fable writ
My favorite movie
Is just "Balls of Fury"
Use Pythagoras's theory
To pull off this slick manuevery
I'm so dazzlin', you're scramblin'
We battlin', net straddlin'
The net ain't regulation height so we gon' fight, that's a paddlin' (uh)
P to the I to the N to the G to the uh (pi-pi-pi-pi-ping pong!)
P to the O to the N to the G to the hey
Not anybody could be good at this,
You need to practice to take me out (me out)
[Chorus]
Ping pong off of the walls (So let's do battle)
Ping pong This game takes balls (with balls and paddles)
Wait a minute let me beat you twice (ah)
Wait a minute 'til ya (ah)
Ping pong adjust my grip (You know I'll beat ya)
Ping pong reversed is "Gnop Gnip" (I'm a ping pong creature)
Wait a minute let me take match point (ah)
Wait a minute 'til ya (ah)
[Outro ]
Ping pong court is so small (You will be sorry)
Ping pong net ain't that tall (Return that volley)
Yo, I said
Ping, pong
Like I'm King Kong
Ping, ping, pong
Ping, p-p-ong, pong
Ping pong you'll be sorry (I know you want it)
Even pong on Atari (I'll beat your ass in)
Wait a minute, let you win I swear (ah)
Wait a minute, I'll let ya (ah)
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2. |
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I am still working at this place
Getting tired of seeing that clown's face
I don't wanna be stuck here
I don't want this dead end job
With my lame name badge and a paper hat
I think I dropped my keys in the fry vat
I don't wanna see the Fry Guys
I don't wanna dress like Mayor McCheese anymore
I just wanna see some palm trees
But each day I smell like old burger grease
But I wear this dumb headset
Eat up apple pies
Don't ask if "I'm Lovin' It"
I Serve the World Fries
Yes, I work at McDonald's
Makin' tiny pay
Hangin' in the playground
"Have you had your break today?"
I am still dreamin' of those...fries!
Hungry and hollow as our crusty apple pies
Maybe I should try on part time
I don't wanna be on fry detail anymore
I'll walk right out of this place today
Insane Ian will have it his own weird way
What's the deal with the Hamburgler?
Why's he now look like an Ambercrombie model anyway?
How's he so thin after this place?
Don't get me started on the Happy Meal box with a face
But I'm stuck at McDonald's
Wearin' a disguise
My name badge says Ronald
Today I'm workin' fries
Yes, I work at McDonald's
Makin' tiny pay
Hangin' in the Play Place
"Have you had your break today?"
Just chillin' at McyD's
Throw out moldy buns
You just take and shove
Your "Food, Folks, and Fun"
Still I wear this paper hat
Choke on apple pies
Burn the burger fat
And serve the world fries
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3. |
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I found out from Immorten Joe (Valhalla)
I'll die historic on the Fury Road (Valhalla)
Fury Road (x2)
Max be Mad, Max be mean (Valhalla)
But why drive everywhere for guzzoline? (Valhalla)
Fury Road (x4)
Furiosa will save the Brides (Valhalla)
While Disney opens “Mad Max's Wild Ride” (Valhalla)
Fury Road (x4)
I LIVE. I DIE. I LIVE AGAIN (X3)
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4. |
Cellar Door
02:35
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2am on a Saturday night, I had great big plans of sleeping tight
When I heard some crazy noises echoing and emanating from below! below!
Slipped on a robe and I went downstairs where my dumb brother Jimmy had taken care
To break the door which leaves a hole so our entire cellar is for show! For show!
What’d you do with the cellar door (Jimmy)?
There’s a gaping hole where it oughta be
Now the outside critters gonna wander on down & they’re gonna throw a big party
And that ain’t alright with me, see
Jimmy, Jimmy, he tried to explain that he spilled some juice and it made a stain
So he took it from it’s hinges and he slammed it on the ground so he could clean it! Clean it!
Suddenly some owls flocked in and a couple of possums who were ugly as sin
Jimmy said with a stupid grin that he was sorry and he didn’t mean it! Mean it!
What’d you do with the cellar door (Jimmy)?
There’s a gaping hole where it oughta be
Now the outside critters gonna wander on down & they’re gonna throw a big party
And that ain’t alright with me, see
There’s dogs & bear & squirrels & sheep and I’m afraid we’re in too deep
They’re here to raise the roof up
They’re rockin’ out and eatin’ chips. They look at me and smack the lips
All thanks to Jimmy’s goof-up, wow!
What’d you do with the cellar door (Jimmy)?
There’s a gaping hole where it oughta be
Now the outside critters gonna wander on down & they’re gonna throw a big party
And that ain’t alright with me, you see, hey hey
What’d you do with the cellar door (Jimmy)?
There’s a gaping hole where it oughta be
Now the outside critters gonna wander on down & they’re gonna throw a big party
And that ain’t alright with me
No that ain’t alright with me!!
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5. |
Can't Feel My Face
03:28
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I don't know what she injects in me, some folks think that it's dumb
But I know that it is best for me, tho I am feeling numb
But at least I will be beautiful and stay forever young
This I know, (yeah) this I know
She told me, "Don't worry about it."
She told me that Botox is safe
Had to sign a waiver about it
She told me I'll always look surprised-oh-oh, whoa
I can't feel my face when on Botox
But I love it, yes I love it, oh
I can't feel my face but I look shocked
And I love it, and I love it, oh
And I know I have some cavities, but junk food is so fun
But right now I'm needing surgery, anesthetic they've begun
But they slipped when they injected me and I can't feel my tongue
So I drool (yes I drool), yeah, I drool
She told me, "Don't worry about it."
She told me "the effects wear off."
Ain't nothin' I can do about it
(But) can't even drive my car to get home-oh-oh, whoa
I can't feel my face 'cause Novocain
Has now numbed it, really numbed it, oh
I can't feel my face but there's no pain
And I love it, yes I love it, oh
I can't feel my face so please could you
Would you punch it, really punch it, oh
I can't feel my face, oh yes it's true
Cause I numbed it, but I love it, oh
I might be addicted to numbness
She told me, "Don't do that no more."
But I don't like feeling my feelings
She told me I never will again-oh-oh
Whoa
I can't feel my face so what to do?
Should I cut it? Maybe cut it, oh
I can't feel my face oh yes it's true
But I love it, but I love it, oh
I can't feel my legs, now what'd I do?
Too much numbness, but I love it, oh
I can't feel my legs or torso too
But I love it, yet I love it, oh
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6. |
Back To The Future
03:42
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It's back
It's back to the future again
It's back
It's back to the future again
Ridin' to Hill Valley town
By the light of the moon
I'm looking for ole' Doctor Brown
He crazy as a loon
Doc, give it to me straight
Tell me when I can drive
"When this hits Eighty-Eight"
You're in Nineteen Fifty-Five
It's back to the future again
Get back
Get back to the future again
Get back
Mmm...Make my parents fall in love
So that I will exist
When little Marty burns the rug
Please do not get pissed
To the future, save my kids
A paradox
In the past now to stop old Biff
A pair of Docs
Trapped here, Outatime
The Doc's in the old west
Eighteen Eighty-Five
I'm hoping I get back
Get back to the future again
Get back
Get back to the future again
It's heavy, My head is filled with questions
It's heavy, Gotta think in 4th dimensions
It's heavy, Clint Eastwood's quite a fellow
It's heavy, so who you callin' yellow?
It's back to the future again
I'm back
I'm back to the future again
I'm back
Back in Time
Back in Time
Back in Time, Oh Marty
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7. |
The Hunger Games
03:24
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I know all there is to know about the hunger games
I've had my share of the hunger games
First there are children, then there is...death
Katniss with her bow, she'll shoot her arrows
It's "Hawkeye meets MacBeth"
Now that I'm hooked I'm gonna read the books of the hunger games
but if you know maybe you'll explain
Why sexual tension was added to scenes
They say the novel's like "Battle Royale"
But written for tweens
I've seen all I need to see of the hunger games
But they've made more of the hunger games
First "Catching Fire", then "Mockingjay"
And then like "Twilight", or Voldemort's fight
They pad their resume's
Don't want no more of the hunger games
But they made four of the hunger games
There was a cliffhanger in the last hunger games
So I'll sit through part four of the hunger games
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Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois
Insane (adj): shocking, outrageous
"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God" - Dr
Demento
“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)
"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)
Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show.
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