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7 from '15

by Insane Ian

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1.
Ping Pong 03:22
[Verse 1 ] I need a sport that is just like Tennis, but I don't wanna play a game outside See my athleticism is a mess but I don't give a damn about my pride (oh) (You've been waiting for that, stop, hold up, swing your bat) Not just any indoor sport will do, I need a paddle to blow my mind, yeah [Chorus] Ping pong, build up your nerve (I know you want it) Ping pong, you just got served (I'll let you have it) Wait a minute let me change my grip (ah) Wait a minute 'til ya (ah) Ping pong, watch the back spin (I know you want it) Ping pong, that ball was in! (I'll let you have it) Wait a minute that last point was mine (ah) Wait a minute 'til ya (ah) [Verse 2 ] I mighta let you think that you're the best, but Imma show you I've got all the skills See I have studied all of your techniques and I now I'll move right in for the kill (oh, yeah) (You tend to lean in [shhhh], when you wanna use topspin) Not anybody can be good as me, You need to work on your lob and chop [Chorus] Ping pong, I'll make you choke (Your score's in trouble) Ping pong, defensive stroke (Should we play doubles?) Wait a minute, you don't think that's fair? (ah) Wait a minute 'til ya (ah) Ping pong, you're just a chump (You need a full team) Ping pong, and I'm Forrest Gump (To play against me) Wait a minute, hit a double bounce (ah) Wait a minute 'til ya (ah) [Rap break] (You know what, man? Let me show you how I do.) It's triple tricky So don't get picky I'll beat you quickly It's Ping Pong This won't be pretty You'll never hit me I'll smash your city Like King Kong Beat you so good Paddle blade of wood But the rubber does what it should, So Willing and able, hit Ping pong table kit Can't even label it, Fable writ My favorite movie Is just "Balls of Fury" Use Pythagoras's theory To pull off this slick manuevery I'm so dazzlin', you're scramblin' We battlin', net straddlin' The net ain't regulation height so we gon' fight, that's a paddlin' (uh) P to the I to the N to the G to the uh (pi-pi-pi-pi-ping pong!) P to the O to the N to the G to the hey Not anybody could be good at this, You need to practice to take me out (me out) [Chorus] Ping pong off of the walls (So let's do battle) Ping pong This game takes balls (with balls and paddles) Wait a minute let me beat you twice (ah) Wait a minute 'til ya (ah) Ping pong adjust my grip (You know I'll beat ya) Ping pong reversed is "Gnop Gnip" (I'm a ping pong creature) Wait a minute let me take match point (ah) Wait a minute 'til ya (ah) [Outro ] Ping pong court is so small (You will be sorry) Ping pong net ain't that tall (Return that volley) Yo, I said Ping, pong Like I'm King Kong Ping, ping, pong Ping, p-p-ong, pong Ping pong you'll be sorry (I know you want it) Even pong on Atari (I'll beat your ass in) Wait a minute, let you win I swear (ah) Wait a minute, I'll let ya (ah)
2.
I am still working at this place Getting tired of seeing that clown's face I don't wanna be stuck here I don't want this dead end job With my lame name badge and a paper hat I think I dropped my keys in the fry vat I don't wanna see the Fry Guys I don't wanna dress like Mayor McCheese anymore I just wanna see some palm trees But each day I smell like old burger grease But I wear this dumb headset Eat up apple pies Don't ask if "I'm Lovin' It" I Serve the World Fries Yes, I work at McDonald's Makin' tiny pay Hangin' in the playground "Have you had your break today?" I am still dreamin' of those...fries! Hungry and hollow as our crusty apple pies Maybe I should try on part time I don't wanna be on fry detail anymore I'll walk right out of this place today Insane Ian will have it his own weird way What's the deal with the Hamburgler? Why's he now look like an Ambercrombie model anyway? How's he so thin after this place? Don't get me started on the Happy Meal box with a face But I'm stuck at McDonald's Wearin' a disguise My name badge says Ronald Today I'm workin' fries Yes, I work at McDonald's Makin' tiny pay Hangin' in the Play Place "Have you had your break today?" Just chillin' at McyD's Throw out moldy buns You just take and shove Your "Food, Folks, and Fun" Still I wear this paper hat Choke on apple pies Burn the burger fat And serve the world fries
3.
I found out from Immorten Joe (Valhalla) I'll die historic on the Fury Road (Valhalla) Fury Road (x2) Max be Mad, Max be mean (Valhalla) But why drive everywhere for guzzoline? (Valhalla) Fury Road (x4) Furiosa will save the Brides (Valhalla) While Disney opens “Mad Max's Wild Ride” (Valhalla) Fury Road (x4) I LIVE. I DIE. I LIVE AGAIN (X3)
4.
Cellar Door 02:35
2am on a Saturday night, I had great big plans of sleeping tight When I heard some crazy noises echoing and emanating from below! below! Slipped on a robe and I went downstairs where my dumb brother Jimmy had taken care To break the door which leaves a hole so our entire cellar is for show! For show! What’d you do with the cellar door (Jimmy)? There’s a gaping hole where it oughta be Now the outside critters gonna wander on down & they’re gonna throw a big party And that ain’t alright with me, see Jimmy, Jimmy, he tried to explain that he spilled some juice and it made a stain So he took it from it’s hinges and he slammed it on the ground so he could clean it! Clean it! Suddenly some owls flocked in and a couple of possums who were ugly as sin Jimmy said with a stupid grin that he was sorry and he didn’t mean it! Mean it! What’d you do with the cellar door (Jimmy)? There’s a gaping hole where it oughta be Now the outside critters gonna wander on down & they’re gonna throw a big party And that ain’t alright with me, see There’s dogs & bear & squirrels & sheep and I’m afraid we’re in too deep They’re here to raise the roof up They’re rockin’ out and eatin’ chips. They look at me and smack the lips All thanks to Jimmy’s goof-up, wow! What’d you do with the cellar door (Jimmy)? There’s a gaping hole where it oughta be Now the outside critters gonna wander on down & they’re gonna throw a big party And that ain’t alright with me, you see, hey hey What’d you do with the cellar door (Jimmy)? There’s a gaping hole where it oughta be Now the outside critters gonna wander on down & they’re gonna throw a big party And that ain’t alright with me No that ain’t alright with me!!
5.
I don't know what she injects in me, some folks think that it's dumb But I know that it is best for me, tho I am feeling numb But at least I will be beautiful and stay forever young This I know, (yeah) this I know She told me, "Don't worry about it." She told me that Botox is safe Had to sign a waiver about it She told me I'll always look surprised-oh-oh, whoa I can't feel my face when on Botox But I love it, yes I love it, oh I can't feel my face but I look shocked And I love it, and I love it, oh And I know I have some cavities, but junk food is so fun But right now I'm needing surgery, anesthetic they've begun But they slipped when they injected me and I can't feel my tongue So I drool (yes I drool), yeah, I drool She told me, "Don't worry about it." She told me "the effects wear off." Ain't nothin' I can do about it (But) can't even drive my car to get home-oh-oh, whoa I can't feel my face 'cause Novocain Has now numbed it, really numbed it, oh I can't feel my face but there's no pain And I love it, yes I love it, oh I can't feel my face so please could you Would you punch it, really punch it, oh I can't feel my face, oh yes it's true Cause I numbed it, but I love it, oh I might be addicted to numbness She told me, "Don't do that no more." But I don't like feeling my feelings She told me I never will again-oh-oh Whoa I can't feel my face so what to do? Should I cut it? Maybe cut it, oh I can't feel my face oh yes it's true But I love it, but I love it, oh I can't feel my legs, now what'd I do? Too much numbness, but I love it, oh I can't feel my legs or torso too But I love it, yet I love it, oh
6.
It's back It's back to the future again It's back It's back to the future again Ridin' to Hill Valley town By the light of the moon I'm looking for ole' Doctor Brown He crazy as a loon Doc, give it to me straight Tell me when I can drive "When this hits Eighty-Eight" You're in Nineteen Fifty-Five It's back to the future again Get back Get back to the future again Get back Mmm...Make my parents fall in love So that I will exist When little Marty burns the rug Please do not get pissed To the future, save my kids A paradox In the past now to stop old Biff A pair of Docs Trapped here, Outatime The Doc's in the old west Eighteen Eighty-Five I'm hoping I get back Get back to the future again Get back Get back to the future again It's heavy, My head is filled with questions It's heavy, Gotta think in 4th dimensions It's heavy, Clint Eastwood's quite a fellow It's heavy, so who you callin' yellow? It's back to the future again I'm back I'm back to the future again I'm back Back in Time Back in Time Back in Time, Oh Marty
7.
I know all there is to know about the hunger games I've had my share of the hunger games First there are children, then there is...death Katniss with her bow, she'll shoot her arrows It's "Hawkeye meets MacBeth" Now that I'm hooked I'm gonna read the books of the hunger games but if you know maybe you'll explain Why sexual tension was added to scenes They say the novel's like "Battle Royale" But written for tweens I've seen all I need to see of the hunger games But they've made more of the hunger games First "Catching Fire", then "Mockingjay" And then like "Twilight", or Voldemort's fight They pad their resume's Don't want no more of the hunger games But they made four of the hunger games There was a cliffhanger in the last hunger games So I'll sit through part four of the hunger games

about

A collection of Insane Ian's single releases from 2015, all featured on the FuMP. Six parodies and one cover of a TV's Kyle song.

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released February 17, 2016

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Insane Ian Chicago, Illinois

Insane (adj): shocking, outrageous

"Insane Ian is a Comedy Rock God" - Dr Demento

“If you like video games and hiphop and you don't listen to Insane Ian...You're. Missing. Out.” - Mikey Mason (on The Funny Music Podcast)

"...the guy who's an even-geekier heir to the Weird Al throne..." - Jay Hathaway (URLesque)

Comedy music and Nerdcore Hiphop, as heard on TheFuMP.com and the Dr Demento Show.
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